To Be Loved: A Story of Truth, Trauma, and Transformation Hardcover – May 7, 2024

As Dr Andersons story unfolded so did much of mine. Parallel in some respect and so different in others. Joy filled me and tears flowed at times. I personally felt seen and heard as I read his story. Thank you for an amazing share. If you have trauma or have been part of estrangement as I have this will be a balm for your soul.

Frank is an author who captured my attention from the start. As a therapist, I enjoyed and appreciated him sharing his personal story, exhibiting bravery and resilience on every page.

Frank Anderson is a world renowned presenter on internal family systems. Thereafter this memoir is in essence his journey from being on survival, the classic over achiever to a life infused with authenticity and abjve all hope love and freedom.Family dynamics are indeed complicated and Frank's recollections of family holidays thaf were alternatively grandiose and disastrous are illuminating. They were times of enormous shane and deep disappointment as well am unbesrsbjr yearning to be known.For so many peoole being able to achieve a 360 degree view of their childhood is impossible. Their family bonds are simoly too enmeshed to go there and there is no 8ncebtve to change. The comfort of the familiar is too compelling.Rather in the case of most memoirs few of us are left wanting more from the story. In Frank's case there is a real yearning ro know more of how he fared in treating the homeless and severely mentally ill as well ax how he will navigate the complexities of growing oldIn many respects, Frank's life as a middle class child with a professional father looked good. In fact he was absurdly neglected and bullied mercilessly.Journeying from perfectionism to being the father of two developmentally challenged children is a revelation. In so many ways Frank's insights are profound and tender explorations of the unthinkable. Being a gay man in rigidly insupoortivw catholic family. Marrying the right person for all the wrong reasons. Thereafter Frank doesn't fail to deliver relatable anecdotes in a authentic compassonate voice. The familiar is a tall task to write about whuch is way so many memoirs fall flat.Ultimately finding compassion for the father who tyranised him on his deathbed is a tender loving elegy of deep reflection and tremendous skill So is the trumph of finding a loving stable marriage in a supportive community against all the oddsIn so many ways often the overachiever is a #David Goggins# style of beating the odds and delivering ultimatum after ultimatum rooted in fear and rageThat's not Frank.Instead Frank Andersin remakes himself into a loving compassionate present father, a son who has the courage to confront his neglectful mother, a doting spouse; but most of all a visionary teacher and presenter on trauma who has changed thousands of lives.A triumph.

As a psychiatrist specializing in the field of treating trauma, Dr. Frank Anderson is already well known and highly respected. In this memoir Frank offers readers the privilege of getting to know him on a more personal level as he shares what it has been like for him to heal from his own history of trauma. Frank courageously describes the impact childhood trauma had on his development and how this set in motion a lifetime devoted to healing, both on a personal level and professionally. As his healing progresses, Frank describes a life lived from a place of greater authenticity. I am recommending this book as I think Frank's memoir will offer others hope and compassion as they heal from their own trauma. The style of writing is very engaging and reflects Frank's warm personality. The last point I will make is, while Frank was in a position to obtain more intensive therapy than most people would be able to, there are a variety of supports available to those healing from trauma, both in one's own community and online. It is important to have a support system!

Frank has mentioned his upcoming memoir numerous times in multiple classes over the past year, so I’ve been awaiting this book’s release. I finished it the same day it came out, so it was a pretty quick read. I liked that he added speaking from his parts in the italicized text, and I appreciated the message of understanding that everyone is doing the best they can with the resources they have. I don’t want to minimize the work Frank has done in the trauma field or his talent as a teacher, and I know this comment is coming from a part, but what was missing from this book was a bit of humility. I’ve certainly developed lots of admiration for his wealth of knowledge from his classes, webinars, and books, but I just had a really hard time connecting with him as a person in his memoir despite really wanting to and having similar childhood trauma.

Frank’s ability to balance personal intimacy with professional wisdom is amazing! I found his writing incredibly vulnerable, yet highly applicable to my own personal trauma and practice as a trauma therapist. I truly enjoyed reading every page!

"To Be Loved" is a beautiful example of post-traumatic growth and making meaning from our experiences. Dr. Anderson's story, told with thoughtfulness and vulnerability, will inspire anyone seeking to heal from adversity, turn their pain into purpose, and find love and connection.

Frank Anderson is a great teacher of therapists because he experienced a traumatic upbringing, a difficult first marriage, and found the help he needed to heal himself, his patients and family. It was exceptional to hear what he thought and felt as he traveled through life and experienced various relationships. After I finished reading the book I gave it to a person interested in Dr. Anderson's work with IFS.