Reading the Room: Group Dynamics for Coaches and Leaders

The only thing that could be improved with this book is the title. I say that because the scope and advice of "Reading the Room" goes so far beyond face-to-face communications and applies to more than coaches and leaders. This book is profound - and that can be said of very very few books. It give deep insight into people and how to be an effective change agent. "Reading the Room" anchors in moral excellence and how to have real impact for the betterment of organizations, communities and family. I found myself learning principles that I can apply to virtually every area of my life. An amazing book.Without reading this book my comments might not make much sense. However this book really does give you the tools to understand yourself and the childhood forces that molded your current behavior - and the behaviors of those you live and work with. David Kantor weaves all of this through an engaging story, much like Patrick Lencioni does in his series of books. David talks about when as children our idealization of love gets damaged, as of course reality of anything always does, we spend the rest of our lives trying to repair love - seeking it, giving it, protecting it, withholding it. Love or anything involving emotions isn't popular in business - however how can it be denied that emotions in truth animate everything. EQ, Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman, has proven that."Reading the Room is about what is involved in a whole, unified, fully integrated life, and leaders want to be loved. That's why they do what they do, even when their motives may look simply material or power centered. Love is connection. Connection is the bridging of difference, and difference is bridged through words, language, talk."Each chapter has a summary, listing of the insights gleaned and questions for discussion and application. "Reading the Room" is a work book and a text, a guide, counselor and profound business mentor all in one. Excellent read. Life changing and worth far more than I paid for it. I highly recommend this as mandatory reading for anyone in business but especially leaders and those that facilitate communication.

When I started this book, I thought, "the examples are dreadful." The "fictional case study" is poorly written-- all tell not show-- and uses stereotypes for characters. Compare it to Five Dysfunctions of a Team or Phoenix Project, where the authors create a compelling story to help us learn the core concepts. Not Kantor, who can't seem to decide between business fiction and wooden textbook examples, and writes with the grace of a middle grader.Throughout the book the characters are walking stereotypes: women (always in a womanly job like HR or spouse) are warm, emotional and supportive and men are the tough strong 'boys don't cry" and this is written in frigging 2012. But his models were interesting (if very poorly rendered- who uses powerpoint to design?) and there appears to be a body of research behind it. So although it's dull and meandering, I liked the taxonomy, so I suck it up and keep reading.And then I got to the last section, where he describes in near-pornographic details Howard's brutal sex with his russian girlfriend who is forced into it because she has visa issues and I'm "whoa. this is rape." There is ZERO reason to choose this example of inappropriate behavior and many reasons not to describe it. This book needs a trigger warning. It's written like that dirty old uncle who wants to tell you about how he used to go to stripper bars when he was a sales rep.It's boring and written like he wants to be shocking and doesn't know how. I prefer sexy stories in my fiction, which they know how to write. Kantor makes Dan Brown look like Hemingway. I think embezzlement was a sufficient villainous act for a business book about building an ethical company (which comes out of nowhere! First we have communication models, and suddenly we're talking about corporate ethics? This book is 1/3 meandering filler that probably should have gone into it's own book.) DID HE EVEN HAVE AN EDITOR?Instead of buying this book, go to his website, look at the models and move on. There is nothing in the book you need beyond that, and much you do not want.

I've been fortunate to know David Kantor for 15 years and have benefitted greatly from his wisdom and theoretical genius in group and individual settings. And while theory is a necessity for serious learners, it's in practice that his work truly shines. Reading the Room rightly (in my view) focuses on the structures and real dynamics of whole and imperfect humans as they face everyday encounters as well as high stakes (for them) dilemmas. Digging into this work means one is committed to knowing the difference between quick fixes (so called) and developing a leadership sensibility and orientation that is more sustainable and effective over time. Awareness, it turns out, it only partially curative. It takes paying attention, practice, reflection, and putting your head AND heart on the line to become a truly present and coherent leader and this work leads the way in service of those aims. David's work in Reading the Room provides an invaluable base of clear theory with practical examples that together can help individuals and groups in any context, work or personal, become more authentic and connected to the true forces that enable positive change to happen.

This book should be required reading for anyone in business. No,wait. It should be required reading for anyone in any group relationship . . . Business, family, teams, etc. it's a whole different way of understanding how people interact. It's incredibly empowering as you see yourself changing roles in your groups to help meet your goals and the common goals. It's a very serious set of theories and well worth the effort to read the entire book. There are so many "Aha" moments are you apply these theories to your own life.

This book provides a well written and simply presented explaination of a complex theory. It is a long book and represents great value but is still easy to read and can be read easily in sections if required - or indeed as a reference book.David Kantor's theory has the potential to complete change your current understanding of organisations, groups and people in general.It is a book that has completely altered how I see, hear and think - My interactions with others both at work and outside are gradually improving as I begin to become more aware of difference.If you have any intrest in management, leadership or human relations in general then buy this book, read it, develop understading and start putting it into practice....

This book has been invaluable to me for my own personal development and for my work as an consultant and interventionist in leadership, team and organisational development. The writings from the book have helped me and my clients to see and understand patterns of communication and behaviour, helpful and otherwise, that might otherwise have been invisible to us. Viewing dynamics this through this lens gives hope for more fruitful and productive relating.

Great book and well worth the read!

Pionnier de la psychologie systémique, David Kantor a bâti un modèle permettant d'analyser les interactions entre membres d'un groupe et mettre en évidence les dysfonctionnements liés à l'inadéquation des différents styles de personnalité.Son modèle met en évidence 4 niveaux : - les postures d'action : (initier, suivre, s'opposer, se mettre en recul) - Les registres de communication (affectif, sens, pouvoir) - Les systèmes opératoires (fermé, ouvert et aléatoire) - le dernier, liés aux histoires de l'enfance colore les manières d'être en situation de stress.Les difficultés de communication naissent lorsque les personnes sont figées dans leur style et incapables de se mettre en phase avec leur(s) interlocuteur(s).L'auteur nous guide dans la mise en oeuvre de son modèle par un cas qu'il déploie tout au long de son livre. Ce qui en fait un livre intelligemment didactique. On peut reprocher à ce cas d'être souvent caricatural.Le portrait qu'il trace d'Obama, pour illustrer la pertinence de son modèle, ne m'a pas totalement convaincu.C'est un très bon outil de coaching et de cohésion d'équipe, bien que le 4e niveau, celui de l'histoire personnelle, me semble plus difficile à mettre en oeuvre.

Great book blending business and psychology. The author has his own 'buzz' words for transactions between poeple, however, very much worth the read.