The Good Daughter Syndrome: Awaken from it. Break Free of it. Heal from it. Paperback – March 8, 2023

I can’t sing enough praise for this book! It’s incredible. It has solved a lifetime of mysteries for me and given me the tools to make changes. I dearly love my Mom. Did everything I could hoping she’d be okay and happy. For decades. I got worn down. Finally plucked up some courage and did some boundaries. Those didn’t go over well and after two years she unloaded big time. As I was dusting myself off, I found Katherine Fabrizio’s book. She explains how this all comes to be and does it in a respectful compassionate manner. She leads you to accepting that you can’t fix Mom, you can only change yourself. Then she gives you all the tools you need to do that – they’re all there. You just have to use them and keep practicing. Also, I appreciated how the book focuses on common behavioral traits, so it doesn’t matter if you don’t know whether it’s borderline or narcissism or whatever. Last but not least, she injects just the right amount of humor. You feel she's a friend, she gets you, and has help for you. I am so grateful that she shared her experience, knowledge and wisdom. After the kindle version I ordered paperbacks to share. Her course and her website were beneficial too.

The first half of the book is extremely validating. I found my mom to be most of the things mentioned and my responses and relationship with her to also be near exactly what this author described.These moms are unreasonable though, and no matter how many reasonable tools you approach them with, the relationship dynamic will never change.The second half of the book is a mix of helpful ways to handle your mom, and deep personal introspection for inner change. I’ll take the latter, because many of these moms are beyond working with and using scripts or tools with. I’m not sure why any tools were mentioned to make things better with mom. It’s a moot point when it comes to these moms. You can’t use reason with unreasonable people. If your mom is on the higher end of narcissism and borderline, there’s no hope. Take care of yourself. Nevertheless, the author tries to throw cliche fixes at us. No over-explaining yourself to your mom. Here’s what to say, positive affirmations- all of that is pointless. However, there’s some great inner exercises worth doing. Bottom line is you’re looking at a relationship never to be repaired or healthy or slightly satisfying and you just need one tool for that. Grieve it. My mom passed last year and all the self work I’ve done for ten years could not compare to the relief I felt with her gone. The book was great at validating what I could not name, because the author explains these as unconscious/subconscious traps and mechanisms. Awareness is helpful. Keep improving yourself but don’t do it for mom or even in order to deal with mom. Do you! And limit or extinguish your time with her.

Thank you for saving my sanity Katherine! My only wish is that I would have found this book sooner. When I first learned this condition was a highly documented "thing" I went searching for help in any form I could find it. Many victims and therapists were quick to verbally assault these mothers, but as I searched through lots of tables of content and sample readings, I felt like Katherine's approach was much more fair, professional, thorough and as kind as possible. And while I have gone "low / no contact" at least I have done so with the understanding of why "Mommy Dearest" is the way she is (doesn't make it right) and am trying to reserve a tiny bit of sympathy, prayer & forgiveness for her. It's tough, but "Hurt people hurt people" and Katherine does a great job of teaching with compassion and fortitude.

This book was very helpful in helping me understand my narcissistic mother, how she got that way, and how to heal. It was lacking in explaining why many victims of narcissistic abuse have a sweet loving and nurturing mother and have good memories of their early childhood years then these parents change for the worse. Still, a very helpful book.

I wish I had had this book thirty years ago! It is transformative, freeing, life- and mindset-changing. Katherine brought to light and verbalized many of my unspoken thoughts and experiences and revealed and explained to me what I never understood about them. She enabled me for the first time to experience freedom while still respecting and loving my mother, not stirring up animosity toward her, but rather compassion and understanding. Beautifully done!When I went to a counselor years ago, she told me to read the book Boundaries twice and do the workbook. I did. And still, I found myself unable to really confidently set and keep them. Katherine revealed the core problem and shed light on what I never saw, which finally dismantled my inability. I feel set free. This is what I’ve needed someone to help me understand for decades.So, so, so many things in the book resonated with me. I needed someone to do what Katherine did - describe what was not normal and healthy and what ways my response wasn’t healthy for me either. I’ve spent decades making sure everyone in my life is ok. I am so thankful to God for this book that has transformed my thinking, given me permission to be my authentic self, affirmed that is ok, and given me strength to realize mom is responsible for herself, and I am responsible for me. And submission and enmeshment, betraying myself to protect her need for superiority, relevance, reassurance, and recognition isn’t right or healthy for either of us. Love in truth and honesty about us both - which I didn’t even understand before.The insights and helps this book gives are unparalleled by other resources that say set boundaries, be yourself, etc., but don’t enable their practice by addressing and untangling WHY we struggle to do that in the first place. Thank you, thank you, thank you for this!

Very important to read. Can’t put this down.

Haven’t read it all yet but hoping to gain some knowledge on how to continue dealing with my mom.

Can't tell you how much this cook resonated with me. Growing up I always felt their was something wrong with me. This book truly opened my eyes and brought clarity to my understanding of my mother's struggles and how they shaped my own self-perceptions. I felt so empowered after reading this.

Thank you so much dear Katherine! The Good Daughter Syndrome really helped me understand the root of the behaviour, how the relationship with my mom and grandmothers has impacted me in other areas of my life and how I can change it and heal from it. I'm excited to start my new life!

I bought the kindle version. I am the daughter of a malignant narcissist mother. I highly recommend this book so those of us stuck living our lives through our mother’s eyes can finally be set free to live our authentic life our way.

This book is a gem. Compassionate, validating and illuminating. It shows so clearly how a mother's trauma 'is passed down the maternal line, along with her recipe for potato salad.' Dear Katherine, thank you for sharing your hard-won wisdom and courage with the world. And for illuminating the path forward. There is no need to marinate in guilt, shame and self-doubt any longer.

How Katherine gradually introduces me to my subconscious memory and allows me to access it with her great understanding, my life changed dramatically during reading this book the more I understood the stronger I became giving me the ability to break free out of the trapped life to freedom to believe in myself regarding my power to be just as strong as my mother.Angela in Australia