How to Talk to a Widower: A Novel (Bantam Discovery)

Doug Parker is the kind of guy you want to introduce to your sister. He’s smart, funny, articulate, kind and creative. Well, he used to be all those things. Right now he’s a mess. But in another year or so - when he’s moved beyond sarcastic, lazy, confused, self-indulgent , self-destructive, and self-loathing – and stopped throwing rocks at the bunnies on his front lawn - he’s going to be great. And then you can introduce him to whomever you want.Jonathan Tropper writes about men in crisis, men whose generally-okay lives have been smashed by a horrible event which places them on a slide into emotional mess-hood. This book was published a few years ago and it's one of his best.Doug Parker is living in Connecticut with his beautiful wife when – BAM! Plane crash. No more wife. We meet him a year later when he is barely able to take care of himself, let alone a sullen and grieving stepson with a fondness for illegal substances and a proclivity for getting picked up by the cops. The stepson is living with his birth father, Jim, but that’s not working out so well and he keeps showing up at Doug’s house (which Jim paid for - awkward). Doug’s twin sister Claire also shows up and soon her abandoned husband is breaking down the door to get to her. Their younger sister, Debbie, is getting married in a few weeks to the law partner of the husband of the bombshell with whom Doug has unwisely begun an affair, so Doug is second guessing his decision to be in the wedding. Doug’s father was a doctor who has “bad days” due to a stroke. When his mother isn’t describing the effects of her husband’s increased post-stroke libido, she’s recalling her glory days as an actress - always helpful in a family overflowing with drama. These are the novel's major characters (not counting the guy who shows up with a gun), and Tropper imbues them with wit and wisdom as he creates a large cast of fully-realized characters. Somehow, it’s never confusing. It’s just heartwarming fun.What I love about Jonathan Tropper is his gift for language. He has an unerring ear for dialogue and, by writing in the first person, the book is a riotous and touching conversation with Doug. He's in pain and impatient with his family because you “crash one stolen Mercedes in front of the police station when you’re fifteen years old and they’ll never let you forget it.” He’s discovered that life in the suburbs, as opposed to Manhattan, is “just a much more sophisticated and elaborate way of being broke.” He has a best friend with “a sloppy, irresponsible streak that made me feel at home.” And about those bunnies: “Oh, calm down. It’s not like I’ve managed to hit one of the little buggers yet.”Every time I read one of Tropper’s books I think about how they’d make great movies. In fact, “This Is Where I Leave You,” is coming to your local Cineplex in a few weeks, starring Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, and Jane Fonda. I wouldn’t miss it but, even though Tropper wrote the screenplay, I doubt it will live up to the book because he probably had to leave out the description of one character that will forever stay in my head:“He’s the Paul McCartney of our family: better looking than the rest of us, always facing a different direction in pictures, and occasionally rumored to be dead.”Avoid spoiling the fun of the movie for yourself and read “How to Talk to a Widower” first. Then see the movie. Then read The Book of Joe, and maybe the rest of these hilarious and wise family sagas.

Trooper manage to mine humor from sad situations. He brings a likable and abnormal cast of characters and makes them all essential to the story.

I really enjoy Tropper's books, they are all so very entertaining. I think this one might be my favorite though. All of the classic Tropper elements are present, great dialogue, snarky but realistic characters, wayward male lead and just great writing telling an interesting story. But where this book excelled was in the telling of grief. This is my favourite Tropper book because he writes about grief in a very nuanced way and the book is really a layered ode to all the ways we can lose ourselves, lose people, lose the things that matter to ourselves and lose our way.The grief story that is central is obviously that of Doug Parker losing his wife Hailey. But Russ also lost his Mum. Doug's own mother is losing her husband to Alzheimers. Doug's sister Claire has lost herself in her marriage. A myriad of other characters have lost their way through a variety of traumas. It is through seeing all of the loss around him that Doug finally starts to become whole again. It's a funny, beautiful ride through a landscape that we are all familiar with in one way or another,Doug's mother sums it up perfectly when she says: "It's life, that's all. There are no happy endings, just happy days, happy moments. The only real ending is death, and trust me, no one dies happy. And the price of not dying is that things change all the time, and the only thing you can count on is that there's not a thing you can do about it."

Jonathan Tropper is hilarious and a genius writer. Each of his books meld his humor, vocabulary, and writing skills into a masterpiece. His language is often raw, but authentic. He says the things most people think, but filter out. I hate it each time I finish one of his books and have to wait for another to be published.

I have a new found respect for Johnathon Tropper after reading, How to Talk to a Widower. This book is written very lucidly, and connects with its reader write from the opening sentence. After reading the first page, you can already picture the main character, Doug, his step-son Russ, and his dead wife, Hailey. Although Doug is young, he finds himself in suburbia, a life that doesn't suit him. The life he lives has a 'Desperate Housewives' tone to it; the close knit gossip, the cheating wives, and the dating scene are all in this book.Though the book tells a great story of a family torn apart after the death of Doug's wife, there are a couple chapters (shaded in grey) that are personal soliloquies of Doug's thoughts. These chapters had the most impact on its reader. It allowed for them to crawl inside the mind of Doug, who is satirical, dark, and witty. Tropper tackles the taboo areas of happiness after tragedy; joy following immense sorrow. The main character finds it hard to be successful, because it would mean it came from the expense of someone he loved. This is the part of the book I liked the most.Overall, the book is powerful yet easy to read. Many of us can relate to the dysfunction of Doug's immediate family, from the boozing mother and the ailing father, to the attention seeking siblings. I have given this book four stars, because it is a bit long-winded and predictable. But if you are looking for a book you can finish in a few days, that tells a great unique story, and has dark humor, then this book is for you.Dennis B. Thapa

This is a must for anyone who enjoyed "Friends", "Will and Grace" and those American TV movies on an afternoon. It comes from the same place; the humour and the poignancy are excellently executed.It's a bit of a wallow, but rewarding for all that. Very much a book of the Aughties.Doug, Russ and Claire are the lynchpins and the author details their psychological messes in a way that completely endears them to the reader. It is fun to be part of all this.The surrounding Parker family again match those TV types we all know, but that is not to denigrate, but to praise: Tropper's writing resonates with fellow feeling and that's what makes it all so enjoyable.This is not a deep novel, probably more sentimental than analytical. That's a plus because if that's the sort of book you feel like reading, you're in for a treat.

This is my favourite book ever, I must have read it 30 times. I lost my paperback copy and had to buy the kindle version, but noticed I basically know it word for word.This book means so much to me, it's absolutely my favourite book I've ever read. I recommend this book to every single person who asks for a recommendation and I totally recommend buying it if you're thinking about it.Beautifully written and the characters are the most loveable characters I've ever read. The story is heartbreaking and hilarious, it has you laughing one second and then the next you're crying uncontrollably.Seriously, buy this book and treasure every page like I do ❤❤❤

Read the paperback many years back a d loved it then, downloaded the kindle version as it's the kinda novel I can go back to again and again

This is my all-time favourite book. Having read the paperback several times, I downloaded it to my kindle and have just reread it. The story is hilarious and tragic, sometimes on the same page. I'll be laughing hysterically at the top of the page, but by the time I reach the bottom of the same page my eyes are leaking. I can't recommend this highly enough and no, I don't know the author personally!

Being a widower just coming up this weekend to the first anniversary of my wife's death, I found this book to be an entertaining, as well as occasionally realistic, take on a sore subject. The need for seclusion, the desire to scream instead of saying 'I'm fine' and the constant replaying of events all rang true. The beautiful sisters, the on tap affair with the pneumatic neighbour, the punk who's a great kid really and the multi million payout waiting just around the corner, all were a little bit too hollywoody. Plus would a guy who sat around all day drinking and eating fast food, really still be beautiful and slim? Anyway a great read.