The Dark Night of the Soul: A Deep Dive into the Shadow Side of Spirituality, Embracing Disorientation, Doubt, and Despair for Authentic Spiritual Growth and Wholeness

It is too bad that many folks will discount this book because it is (was) written by a psychiatrist. It is equally bad that many Protestants will avoid the book because of its Catholic heritage. I believe that even worse still, there will be those who miss the wisdom inside the pages of this book, who could benefit from the guidance and spiritual insight during their seasons of the dark night. "At the outset I must confess that I am no longer very good at telling the difference between good things and bad things." -The Dark Night of the Soul; Gerald May, M.D. I rather wish the title of this book had been different. I think it gives a false impression of what the subject really explores; although, it does address the dark night of the soul. May uses the backdrop of the writings from St. Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross to lay his foundation for his exploration of the phenomenon of the "dark night" or spiritual darkness (which might also be known as spiritual awakening or enlightenment). I have read quite extensively from both Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross. Their writings can be something of a bit archaic depending on the translation and they can be somewhat romanticized within the context of their poetic settings. I say this to make a point that they can sometimes be difficult to completely understand. Despite his academic and clinical background, Dr. May writes clearly and in a very personal voice that I find very easy to grasp. His writing is warm, friendly, and very down-to-earth. He takes complex ideas and difficult situations and makes easy conversation with them. Not only was I enlightened by what I read, I was also comforted by someone whom I believe shared understanding of my circumstances and experiences. What might be the greatest contribution of this book in my opinion is the synergy that Dr. May creates between the spirit and the psyche... perhaps another way of saying this is the convergence of the soul and the spirit. While some voices would discount the science of psychology, I believe it is helpful for us to understand the workings of the mind and soul. God instructs us to love Him with all our "heart, soul, mind, and strength." It is obvious then, we should pay attention to these various facets that make up the essence of human beings. It is my opinion that Gerald May handles this material with humility and reverence, which helps in bringing attention to the work of God in the process of the dark night. It might be for this reason that I most liked chapter five, Three Signs and Three Spirits, where May teaches at length about the psychology of the dark night... very, very good instruction here. "As John makes clear, it is not God who disappears, but only our concepts, images, and sensations of God." -The Dark Night of the Soul; Gerald May (p.146) Another very helpful chapter to me was chapter six, The Dark Night Today, where May discusses the dark night in modern contexts. While there is no substitute for reading the translated original writings from John and Teresa, Dr. May's exploration is arguably one of the best companion guides I have read to date and I have several expositions on the writings of Teresa and John in my personal library. The book includes a very well annotated notes section and an exhaustive index at the end of the book. Personally, I think this is a book every Christian should read and I am very glad I did.

Gerald May in this book helps the reader to appreciate the spiritualities of both St. John of the Cross and St. Teresa of Avila. Rather than looking at the dark night of the soul as something negative, the author looks at it from a very positive perspective. He says, "The dark night is a profoundly good thing. It is an ongoing spiritual process in which we are liberated from attachments and compulsions and empowered to live and love more freely." There is a strong liberation perspective in the whole book. Again and again, the author looks at this phenomenon as liberation for freedom and this freedom is freedom for love. The author identifies some misunderstandings that people have about the dark night and tries to correct them. He says it is not negative or sinister; there is no need for a big and dramatic tragedy for authentic spiritual growth to take place; and that the dark night of the soul is not something that occurs once in a lifetime. Attachment is a compulsive condition that robs us of our freedom. He describes unpleasant attachments as those we consider as being bad habits. He says when these hinder our love, they become addictions and in spiritual life, the objects of our attachments and addictions become idols. He says our attachments are very successfully when we live in denial. The problem with spiritual denial is that it makes us unaware of our idolatry and enables us to believe we have a full and free capacity for love. The author says for St. John of the Cross, the dark night of the soul is "a secret way in which God not only liberates us from our attachments and idolatries, but also brings us to the realization of our true nature. The night is the means by which we find our heart's desire, our freedom for love." Though the dark night is meant to liberate us, it may not feel pleasurable. One feeling certain in the experience is that of obscurity and a sense of loss. Even when this experience seems to be pleasant, they would still be some sense of grief because of the loss involved in the liberation. The freedom experienced in the dark night of the soul is a freedom to love. It is not just freedom from, it is a freedom for love. The author says, "Human beings exist because of love, and the meaning and goal of our lives is love. ... Liberation from attachment is only a means to this end." In this sense then, the dark night experience helps us to become who we truly are, to realize our true nature and capabilities as that of love. In this experience, we are no longer blurred by our selfish desires, nor are our lives veiled in denial. We become the person God created us to be. I find chapter six of the book, "The Dark Night Today" as the most important chapter in the book. He uses the dark night experience to discuss depression, addiction, personality and gender, spiritual companionship and social systems. I highly recommend this book. It is clear, well written and practical.

It's remarkable that Gerald May wrote Dark Night fifteen years ago, and it is still as relevant as it ever was. The book's great strength lies in synthesizing the works of both Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross while still allowing each of them to speak in their own unique voice, as well as teasing out psychological insights that might otherwise be ignored. May's writing is clear, wonderfully readable, and offers hope in what can sometimes seem to be a time of difficulty. I've now bought eight or nine copies of this excellent book, to give to friends.

I had been going through an extended and extremely difficult - albeit very beautiful - period spiritually. A trusted friend with whom I shared my journey said, "I'm going to lend you a book." I thought, "Oh no, not another book! Almost everybody I speak to at more than a superficial level recommends a book to sort me out!" I politely accepted, however, intending only to thumb briefly through Gerald May's 'The Dark Night Of The Soul.' To my amazement, I devoured every word and was often in tears. Why? For a while before reading, I had come to question the validity of my spiritual experience but almost every paragraph in this book confirmed its authenticity. Subsequently I ordered three copies for myself. One is heavily annotated with comments like "Yes, yes, yes!" or "That's me!" The second copy is for my bookshelf and the third is for lending to anybody I believe it might help. Dr. May's treatment of the teachings of Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross, which are the subject of this book, is thoughtful and thorough. More than that, it is carried out with great love and insight and is beautifully and clearly written. Contrary to popular belief, the dark night of the soul does not denote great suffering, often seeming to manifest without reason and bringing forth no worthwhile outcome. Rather does it mean that God takes us, in love, to places where we would not or could not go ourselves in order that we might grow spiritually, and while there can be considerable pain, there is also great beauty. The value of the book for me is that it was confirmational rather than aspirational, that is, it helped me because it confirmed what was already in place in my inner life. Had I come from a different direction, happened to come across the book and regarded what it describes as a state to aspire to - or be afraid of - I could well have found it frustrating. I say this to guide the would-be reader. If you have experienced a deep inner spirituality that nurtures you beyond what you could have thought possible, even though frequently painful, then you understand the paradoxical blend of miracle and misery that can leave you bewildered. If this describes your present circumstance, and you find that your experience is frequently challenged by all kinds of outside influences, in other words if you are somewhat like me, there is a strong possibility that you will find this book very helpful whether you are Christian or not, for most of Dr. May's message is universal in its appeal. If you are at an early stage of your spiritual journey, you might be wise to postpone reading the book until the conditions I have described apply more or less to your situation.

He carefully distinguishes between clinical depression and spiritual desolation, emphasizing that while the two may feel similar on the surface, they differ radically in meaning, direction, and outcome. This distinction is one of the book’s most valuable contributions, especially for therapists, spiritual directors, and seekers who struggle to interpret suffering without prematurely medicalizing it. At the heart of May’s argument lies the idea of purification of desire. The dark night is not a punishment, nor a failure of faith, but a divinely guided stripping away of false attachments—images of God, the self, control, spiritual ambition, and emotional dependency. Love, according to May, must be freed from the ego’s grasp if it is to become truly unconditional. In this sense, suffering becomes not an obstacle to love, but the very means by which love matures. One of the book’s strongest qualities is its psychological sensitivity. As a psychiatrist, May understands the terror of inner emptiness, helplessness, and loss of meaning. Yet he refuses to reduce the soul’s crisis to mere neurochemistry. Instead, he presents the dark night as a threshold experience—a crossing from self-centered spirituality into God-centered surrender. This makes the book especially meaningful for modern readers who live at the intersection of psychotherapy and spirituality. one possible limitation of the book is that it is primarily rooted in the Christian mystical tradition. While its insights are universal, readers from non-Christian backgrounds may need to translate some of its theological language into their own symbolic frameworks. Still, the core psychological and existential themes—loss, surrender, longing, trust, and transformation—clearly transcend any single tradition.

His questions resonate with me. I had not given much attention to the idea of God directing meditation outcomes. This was a helpful read.

I've just finish "The dark night of the soul" - author combined clarity and profound spiritual insight. The book may be recommended to all looking for deeper understanding what is happening in their spiritual life.