It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki)

Our therapist recommended this book for my young children (5 and 7). They each responded differently, but for both it was a great way to engage them in conversation in an empathetic, understanding, and open way. They so related with Koko Bear and his feelings in the book and were able to identify some of their own feelings through reading it. My 5 year old has asked to read this many times while my 7 prefers not to...not because she doesn't like the book but because it does bring up feelings that are difficult for anyone--especially a youngster--to process. If you know children affected by divorce, this book is definitely worth reading with them.There are also helpful tips on each page for parents. Ideas to help children process, ways to talk about the new realities we all experience through divorce, and conversation starters to talk to kids in a non-threatening, nonjudgmental, emotionally safe manner.

This is, hands down, the best resource I've purchased to help my daughter handle the divorce we're going through. Her dad left our home a few months ago and I had no idea of how to begin handling the aftermath. Luckily a friend passed along information about a great co-parenting class, and the facilitator took time to highlight this book on the resource list for participants. It really does help, and with all of my own emotional upheaval and the new responsibilities that come with spousal abandonment and divorce, I need all the help I can get! I'm amazed and thrilled to see my 5-yr old daughter's strength flow back a little more each time we read it. The message and approach are right on target for her emotional needs. Sometimes I think the doll is somewhat unnecessary, but the book itself has been a lifesaver.

During my divorce, my kids seemed to be adjusting well, at least in the beginning. As time went on however, they struggled with the idea of divorce so I picked up this book and a few others. This is a great book for the younger ones (mine were 4 and 6 at the time). It really speaks to their guilt over things they think they could have done to stop it, and gives you as the parent a great way to start the conversations that are so important, yet so hard to have. Their Dad and I shared this book from house to house, and in time, the girls didn't need it anymore. I have since given it to a friend to help her situation.

My son is 4&1/2, and although the whole idea of divorce is over his head, the concepts of being “a family apart”, not all family lives with you—like aunts & uncles reside in separate houses from you—but you are all still a family, and even though mom and dad are getting a divorce, no one is divorcing you, really resonated with him. The book broke down core concepts in a way he could understand what changes would occur. He asks to read it all the time. It has opened a dialogue about divorce, and has let my son know that he can ask me anything at any time as we work through the divorce.

This book was great! When we spoke to our son about the upcoming Divorce, he got upset this was one of the books we used to help him understand. WE read this book and he asked questions, told us how he felt, and then took it to school to help tell his friends. He also asked if he was allowed to let a friend borrow it, " Cause he is hurting and needs to know it is not his fault too". My whole family loves this book, It helped our son identify his feeling and know that they were Ok, that he was "allowed" to be upset, and that the divorce would become "normal" to him in the months to come.

This book is a sensitive way to broach the subject of divorce or separation with young children. I bought it for my daughter and son-in-law to use when telling my 4 year old granddaughter about their divorce. No doubt it was the hardest day of their lives to tell her, but the story is understandable for a young child. She still broke down and cried, she still begged that they not get divorced, but my daughter keeps reminding her of the "puzzle pieces" from the story which don't fit together no matter how hard you try.

I love the message of this book, but it is loooooonnnggg for a children's book. I have 4 yo twins and it didn't hold their interest. I ordered this along with a few other books, and found those to be a bit better.

Bought this for my nephew, even though his parents are not divorced. My nephew just had all the other 'Koko" books by Vicki Lansky & wanted this one too. It's very well written & I believe would help any child cope with a divorce in the family. Well worth the money! And check out her other Koko story books, like potty training, babysitters, etc. All fun!

When you drop the D-bomb on your kids there is an empty silence that this book managed to fill. We were able to move on from that hideous conversation to a simple story about a bear who didn't understand either. I was able to point to pictures of how I felt and she pointed to pictures of how she felt too. Dad was able to get involved too and we were able to express our sadness as a family. This was happening to all of us. If you're considering buying this book, may I say how sorry I am that this has happened to you too.

A great book to introduce divorce to a child whose parents have split. Heartbreaking to have to read this book to my granddaughter but it helped us to discuss a day when feelings could be talked about and checked like Koko bear does. Mama bear in the first page looks a bit masculine and it made it hard for her to decipher which one was which but later on Mama bear is in a skirt.

I bought this book for my 9 year old grand-daughter whose parents have recently separated. I particularly liked the question/discussion prompts and found it a useful tool for encouraging my grand-daughter to talk about her feelings about her situation. I also liked the fact that it covers a longer period of time after an immediate separation, so is able to explore other situations that might arise after the initial one. A really useful book!

Bought this book a few years ago now and have referred to it many a time when working with children experiencing separation/divorce. The reason I am writing this review now is that i am having to re-purchase it bacause ive lent our copy out to a parent, cant remember who and feel lost without it. Hadn't used it for a while but needed it the other day - got to get another one and will be making a note when it gets taken home. Would definitely recommend

This has really helped us during a difficult time. I did change the word 'divorce' in the story as this wouldn't mean anything to my 4 year old. I just said separating instead as he would understand that. I thought it might be a little old for my son but it wasn't. We've read it several times. For those looking for books along these lines 'two homes' was great