what is the difference between # HT4189 and HT3189 ?

Please check the type of audio output from your TV. If your TV only has a DIGITAL AUDIO 0UT (OPTICAL), then you will need the Avantree HT4189 NOT the HT3189. The HT3189 ONLY works with TVs with a headphone jack or RCA audio OUTPUT port.

Will others be able to listen to the tv through the external speaker while the headphones are in use?

This is a TV feature. Some TV, like some LG smart TV, has the option of 'TV speaker + optical out' at the same time. But not all TV have this function. If your TV does not have such function, then you can use HT5009, which support the Bluetooth headphone and a wired up (either optical or AUX) sound bar / speaker simultaneously. So you can use the headphone and your wife can listen to the sound bar. If not clear, contact support@avantree.com

Are these "over the ear" or "on the ear"? I want headphones that completely surrounds the ear

These have a circular cushion that surrounds the ear, (if your ears are not large ones); and stays on well. I like these better than the Sennheiser one I had for 10 years; except the ear space is smaller on this new Avantee one.

I have two tv's on different floors, both Sony. Can these headphones pair to either one as I needed?

I can connect to different TVs in my house, but not automatically. I use an Optical cable as the television audio out device to connect to the Avantree transmitter. I usually use the headphones/transmitter with my family room's television. However, I sometimes want to use it with the bedroom TV. I disconnect the Optical Cable and USB power cable, which powers the transmitter, from the back of the family room TV, and hook those two connections up to the back of my bedroom TV. I will then get the sound to my headphones and it will only be from the bedroom TV. The family room TV will not spill over to the headphones because the Avantree transmitter is not hooked up to it. More info: the headphones can only be paired with one transmitter. If you have two Avantree headphones/transmitters. you could have headphones set up on two TVs without worrying about spillover from one TVs transmitter to headphones that have been paired with another transmitter.

ASIN	B07CJ2BVSP
Additional Features	40 Hours Battery, Plug & Play, No Delay, 100ft LONG RANGE, Bluetooth Wireless TV Headphones, Optical RCA 3.5mm AUX PC USB 4 ports supported
Age Range Description	Adult
Audio Driver Type	Dynamic Driver
Battery Average Life	40 Hours
Battery Charge Time	2 Hours
Best Sellers Rank	#136,060 in Electronics ( See Top 100 in Electronics ) #2,496 in Over-Ear Headphones
Bluetooth Range	100 Feet
Bluetooth Version	5.0
Brand Name	Avantree
Built-In Media	1 ps bluetooth headphone with 1ps bluetooth transmitter
Cable Features	Without Cable
Color	Black
Compatible Devices	Headphone, Speaker
Connectivity Technology	Bluetooth
Control Method	Push Button
Control Type	Sound
Customer Reviews	4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars (8,290)
Earpiece Shape	Over-Ear
Enclosure Material	Plastic
Frequency Range	20Hz-20KHz
Global Trade Identification Number	06945624902535
Headphone Folding Features	Over Ear
Headphone Jack	3.5 mm Jack
Headphones Ear Placement	Over Ear
Impedance	32 Ohms
Is Autographed	No
Item Weight	196 Grams
Manufacturer	Avantree
Model Name	BTHT-4189-BLK
Model Number	BTHT-4189-BLK
Noise Control	Sound Isolation
Number of Items	1
Specific Uses For Product	TV Wathcing, Videos and Games
Style Name	TV Set
Theme	TV Series
Unit Count	1 Count
Warranty Description	Warranty - 24 months (product registration to cover first 12m return shipment cost) \| Extensive Support: Chat, Email, Phone, Online Clinic, Video Tutorials, FAQ and Registration - avantree.com/support
Wireless Technology	Bluetooth

Avantree HT4189 40Hrs Wireless Headphones Set for TV Watching with Transmitter (Digital Optical AUX), No Delay, Dual Link Support, High Volume Over Ear Headset for Seniors, Long Range

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