When It's Never About You: The People-Pleaser's Guide to Reclaiming Your Health, Happiness and Personal Freedom

This book is amazing! If there ever was a book that made me realize I wasn't alone or crazy this is the one! I bought the Audible Version, since I wanted to also listen to it in the car! The audio was done very well and easy to follow. But lets talk about this amazing book! I love how Ilene puts herself out there, everything she said resonated with me. This book was the answer when I was feeling totally off path and trying to figure out why though I had so much I felt so lost and unhappy. I think some times it is important to know you are not alone, and this book did that for me. I also loved the examples of some of the patients she gave... but the final one really hit hard. Dr. Ilene helps you see where you might be over functioning and how, then she makes you feel okay and offers ways to resolve it. I have recommended this books to friends and family who so far have told me they also love it. I would absolutely give this book a read! It might be life changing!

Many times with books on personality issues, the author writes in a "research" method and fails to actually touch on the way people feel. This author spoke to me in a Yes! way and offers ways of coping and improving People Pleaser issues. She clearly understands and I sincerely appreciate how she speaks openly about it. This book won't go away -- it will remain a reference for me.

Got this for a friend who is a disaster at confrontation with anyone. She’s a sweetie but severely weak and a textbook doormat. I doubt she ever read it sadly because she’s in denial yet admits she’s the reason why her husband thinks he’s always right when usually is the opposite.I read some to stick into our conversations for more advice than I often give her. She never knew the difference. Not amazing or anything as much of it is common sense, but the wording as always is key. May help less extreme cases also, as it did with another unfortunate female doormat friend.

What an amazing book!! As a lifelong people pleaser, Dr. Cohen really opened my eyes to see the negative consequences that people pleasing can bring about. In the same sense, she made it abundantly clear how to change these behaviors for the benefit of myself and those around me. As a licensed therapist, I highly recommend this book and will be suggesting it to clients who do too much for others and not enough for themselves. She has written this book in an easy to read format with beautiful examples to help really bring the point home!

I wish I had this book 30 years ago. As Dr. Ilene says "you're never to old". I'm 63 and hope to begin my life now. Starting my second read through and taking many notes this time.My sister is an alcoholic and seem to call me when she was not at her best. I always wanted to tell her not to call at that time. I feel so proud that I finally took the bull by the horns. I said I would talk to her any other time. Yes, just as Dr. Ilene said she is not talking to me. I hope that will change soon, but I'm standing my ground and not being a people pleaser about this.Thank you Dr. Ilene for helping me see the truth about myself.

This is a WONDERFUL book. I think everyone can benefit from reading it, not just people who identify as a people-pleaser. All of us are approval seekers to some degree and there is a need to change our focus onto pleasing ourselves, rather than pleasing other people all of the time. I am a people pleaser and am trying to undo a lifelong habit of putting others before myself. This book has significantly helped me thus far, and I keep going back to apply the activities in my life. It has proven highly effective. Let me tell you when I was reading it I felt like the author really knew me! I ABSOLUTELY, LOVED this book. I have even convinced my entire family to give the book a try!

The ones who know my taste in books this one might look like a step out of my box and it is. I never have read psychology books before and this probably is just one out of many to come. Since the pandemic is going on self help and psychological health are more spoken of and taken into account. And this was the first step of bettering myself and I cant rate that in five star system, no one can. So this book is a steeping stone in a lifelong jorney and cant be rated likewise. Thank the author for the easy and explanatory way of things.

I am not an avid reader, or a reader at ALL! This book was eye opening to a life long people pleaser. It has brought new life to me and I’ve shared it with my 3 daughters who are all following in my people pleasing footsteps. Hopefully I can end the cycle now for future generations of my family. Thank you for sharing your stories and help around people pleasing. I am happy to say I am on the road to recovery.

Well written, helpful, keeps you interested. Lots of helpful tips to stop being a people pleaser. Thanks for the great read

So, I am a people pleaser. I seek for approval and adjust my behaviour and attitude in order to please others. After reading this book, I am now on a journey to becoming more authentic and genuine. I am pushing myself into situations I would normally shy away from, I'm saying 'no' a lot more often and i'm helping others a lot less. Thank goodness I purchased this book it has been a life saver. I expected to be this way my entire life as it is who I am. You can change! For the better, for not only your emotional health, as ultimately your physical health is affected as well.This book does focus on 'not doing things for family members' which didn't apply to me personally, but my main issue trying to please others and acting against my desires and intentions gain approval. I even purchased the audio-book to listen to as could really focus to what the words were saying.So yes I fully recommend this book for a people pleaser.

Easy to read and helpful information. Interesting stories from clients to compare to your own life and tips to help.

This book is full of useful and practical information for people pleasers. Highly recommend it for who seeks some extra insight about it. ☺