Playful Parenting: An Exciting New Approach to Raising Children That Will Help You Nurture Close Connections, Solve Behavior Problems, and Encourage Confidence Paperback – April 30, 2002

I got more out of this book than I thought I would. I was expecting some hints on playing with small children. But the idea of play as a form of therapy had never crossed my mind. But I am delighted that it did. My son is nearly 5 and suffers with social phobia and selective mutism. With that in mind I jumped ahead to the chapter on 'Encourage their confidence' and discovered the "Poopyhead game". What a fabulously fun way to give a child a bit of power in such a safe way. I tried it with two 5 yr olds. One quiet and shy, the other boisterous and confident. They got to break a funny rule and laugh at me. They felt strong..it was obvious. These kids got that from a completely non physical game. I went from there to the chapter on 'Learn to roughhouse'. My husband plays it with our son, but I wanted some ideas on it for me as this is said to be a wonderful confidence game for shy kids. Well I got a few rules to help create a safe environment and an insight into the emotions attached to the game - playfullness, confidence, determination and power to name but a few, and how I might bring those out. Add to that the connections based on love and trust and it's a winning conbination. I then flicked ahead to the chapter on discipline. I certainly expected (and got) a non smacking approach..but this..it was different, and it worked! I'm used to using 'time-out' with varied success. My son reacts to that just how the author writes it. Word for word. So I gave this new approach a try. Success. The idea of instilling good judgement with clear limits from a young age is empowering to kids and builds confidence. It also lends itself very easily to prevention rather than cure. I've had the book for about one week. I've tried a few new approaches to parenting from the book, and for my son it has switched on the power within. This socially phobic child has attended a pre-school Christmas party (approx 60 people), a visit to a friends house (10 poeple)and sat alone on Santa's knee for a chat and photo for the first time. He did all this with an enthusiasm and confidence unseen in him. I am bursting with pride at his achievements of the last week and our household is much happier and calmer for it. I've still got much more reading to do and am loving the new stratedgies to manage time old parenting issues. My only criticism is that the reading can be a bit heavy going at times. For a book about play, it's not what I would call a light read. But really, it's certainly worth persisting to find the gems within, and I'm looking forward to it.

Wow. There's no real way to describe how deep and rich this book is. The basic concept is so simple, and even just reading the first chapter changed my attitude toward interacting with and disciplining my toddler. But then the more you read the more you really understand just how desperately kids need and want our connection, and that many of the traditional ways of disciplining kids (even "positive parenting" methods like time-outs) just create distance and can backfire.So, of course it works with a toddler. I mean, the biggest problems with toddlers are changing their diapers without fits and getting them to stop throwing food off the high chair. But it also works with older kids. I've been trying the tips out on all the bigger kids at the playground and have been amazed at the results. It's basically just reframing the way you see kids and what their motivations are.Some reviewers have commented that Cohen talks too much about what he's done. Well, of course he has! He's a therapist who uses play. By telling his own stories about what he's done with clients and with his own daughter, it gives you examples of how to think on your feet and figure out what a kid needs without being a therapist yourself.I have been recommendiing this book to every I know, even people who aren't parents but just interact with kids. I just think that if everyone who deals with kids could read this book it would make everything so much easier and more fun for the adults *and* the kids. And that we'd all have closer connections with our family members. So this is going to be my standard gift for people having children from now on. It's definitely worth the money.

This book was a revelation for me. It has immensely improved my relationship with my son and probably saved us resentment and miscommunication.I should say that I have a 1.5yo girl with whom I easily connect and have a respectful and supportive relationship, and a vibrant 3.5yo boy. I practise with them RIE respectful parenting style (mostly) In it, independent play is highly valued - but one should be careful to find the balance so that the connection is maintained.While RIE is for infants and toddlers, Playful Parenting is for, say 2.5 years and up (until children stop being that and stop playing). So it is very complementary.Before I read this book I often went to bed with the disappointingfeeling that something was missing,that I wasn't enough with my children, even though I stay at home with them. The days were filled with power struggles between me and my son who obviously had a hard time getting used to having a sister. I wasn't happy. I felt that my child wasn't my child anymore. We drifted apart - no wonder he wasn't listening to me. He didn't want to play with when I was available and that was our circle of disconnection.This book gave me some great explanations why my boy behaved the way he did and many, many practical tips on how to play therapeutically with him. Everything I tried worked like a charm - physical play, going with the pretend play, sibling teaming up, helping him understand and implement the rules of the play and relationships... many many more... also gave great tips on how to deal with fellow parents and how to better understand each other.I finally managed to restore the beautiful relationship I had with my son before his sister was born, he is a happy kid now, I am the happiest mom, and he finally says back to me: I love you, too.I find that when his need for connection is satisfied, he is almost always respects my directions (unless distracted). A perfect, loving discipline.The book mostly speaks to working parents and it might get your guilt going if you are a newbie in parenting, but it also stresses the importance of self-care. Now I can easily feel when they child's need for connection is not satisfied, do something about it and we are back to happy and independent play.I am a parenting book nerd and I value this one very highly.