The Empty Room: Understanding Sibling Loss

Our son's death at age 16 was dealt with for almost 5 years by his siblings (ages 12 and 17 at the time) by not talking about their emotions and the effects on how they viewed their own lives. Their current feeling are that they've dealt satisfactorily with it. The book points out influences that a well-publicized illness and death had that were not recognized by the author at the time. As with those interviewed by the author, the experience of writing and talking with someone who understands the possible effects of a sibling's death are important in clarifying and then dealing with the emotions and effects. This is true even though many years may have passed and others think you're "over" the death of a sibling.This is a good book for parents to read to understand what the siblings may face and to prepare for dealing with their children's and their own parent situations. The siblings may not be able to read the book due to their age or their level of emotional understanding but the parents should read it as part of parenting.

Having recently lost my older brother as a young adult, I've been searching to make sense of my experience and feelings. There is tons of literature and self-help books for the surviving parents, partners, and children of the deceased, but one must look far and wide for something specifically focused on the unique and lifelong relationship shared by siblings. I am so grateful that someone recommended this book. It's been a little hard to read at times, simply because I feel validated and recognize so much of the feelings shared by others who have also lost a beloved sibling. I highly recommend this book to anyone suffering the loss of their sibling - whether or not you always got along, and no matter your age at the time of the loss.

My oldest son died at the age of 16. I was so lost in myself the first 17 months that I couldn’t see the pain my other children were in too. I bought this book to help understand what they were feeling. Because we do forget that they suffer also. And they are told by others ‘You don’t understand’ and ‘Look after your Mother’.I think this book clearly illustrates that this pain is their story too, and I thank the author for giving me their perspective.

My life changed forever in January 2008 when my brother passed away. He was my best friend and my only sibling. It has been almost three and a half years, and it feels like it was yesterday. I first purchased this book in 2009. After I had read 9 pages, I put the book down and emailed Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn, the author. For the first time, SOMEONE understood how I felt! I read this book all the time, just because it's contents comfort me. It is written by someone who knows about loss. I recently purchased a second copy for a dear friend of mine who just lost her sister. By the way, my email to the author? She emailed me back! Beautiful book written by a beautiful person.

I thought that since it had already been 8 years since I lost my brother, this book might not be irrelevant. I was wrong! As Elizabeth states - "we never get over it, we just learn to live with it". Beautifully written, poignant stories.

Foundational work in sibling loss.

Very good and full of great insights.

Great

Some aspects we helpful but overall it was more about her loss than dealing with sibling loss per-sea and I was looking for a bit more clinical substance to help understand the process.