Harriet LernerThe Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships

The Dance of Intimacy completely opened my eyes and has made me think about all of my relationships in a different light. I'm excited to implement the tools I've learned. Everyone in my family will be getting a copy.

This book is a necessary guide for understanding the building blocks of relationships necessary to make them work.No matter where you are with your relationships in life, I'd recommend this book.

I loved the examples given and the way I was able to relate to many of the stories. I've been working on myself for several years and this book helps get to the root of the issues i have been struggling with. It helped to be part of a book club regarding this book to have deeper discussions with others and pulling out things I did not always get from reading on my own! Thank you to this book for helping me see new light!

As a clinical social worker and marriage and family therapist, I can think of no one who writes about relationship dynamics as well as Harriet Lerner. I have used this book as a resource for many of my clients.In 'Dance of Intimacy', the author discusses issues such as under- and over-functioning. The less our partner does, the more we do. The more slack we pick up, the less our partner does. She deals with setting limits for this and decreasing enabling behaviors.Ms. Lerner also discusses distancing and pursuit. Often in relationships, when a person is pursued, they pull away. However, if their partner does not pursue them, they end up wanting more intimacy. The author deals with this common dynamic and explains the root causes of it.She gives good advice about approaching hot issues in the relationship, offering ways to improve communication and moving forward. She also has an excellent chapter on dealing with differences between you and your partner.I highly recommend this book for everyone, especially women.

Intimacy starts with self. Reading Mrs. Learner’s books are like going to a therapist that cares and guides you. She gives many examples that are relatable to the many relationships we all have and after reading her book small changes seem possible and worth trying.

Okay, I'm way too old for self-help books! I hit them hard in my late 20s and early 30s and that was quite enough :) But because my son was reading this, and because I remember another book by Lerner, "The Dance of Anger," I went ahead and read it. It works. It imparts exactly the wisdom that this sort of book is met to inmpart.Lerner is a good therapist who shares what she would (I guess) probably say to a client.

Fantastic book! This was suggested to me by my therapist and since reading I’ve been recommending it left and right. It really gives you the language to use in difficult relationships and how to navigate them. I really feel like everyone should read this at least once in their lifetime. It has already helped me with some difficult relationships in my life.

This is a theory of relationships book, not a how to book. It is well organized, systematically written. Written from a female perspective, but the issues are recognizable by men with spouses or sisters in the workforce.Clear warnings by the author that presenting problem and solution histories in one chapter makes things look easier than they are. Enough stories without "happy endings" to realistically present difficulties.Have read one dance book before, fear. I am considering reading another, anger, in the near future. Recommended by psychologist treating me for depression when I brought up marital concerns.

A book on relationships, written by a woman intended to help other women with their relationships (all types, spouses, mother, father, siblings, etc.), but really quite a valuable read for men. Much of the book is not really specific to any one gender and quite universal to both. The parts more specific to women, however, are just as valuable to men to know if they are working on a relationship with a women. The book is very readable and takes a very practical approach to deliver each principle. The author describes a concept and uses a what I assume are real life stories so the reader can see what happens when the principle is first ignored, then applied. Each story seems very believable thus making each point made creditable. Not being an expert myself, I was finding everything she was explaining very believable and more importantly, very doable by me. This is key to any self help book to be understandable and useful to a non-expert like myself. I highly recommend this book looking to find themselves in a relationship and wanting to navigate successfully in one. Success first being the survival of one's self, which may provide the very best chance for a troubled relationship you are experiencing survive, but by no means guarantee it. Either way, it is the best guide for you.

Informative a gives a new perspective to the reader.

I am a young male and I read this book and it helped tremendously. What sticks out the most is the authors more inclusive perspective of situations and problems in relationships, instead of a black and white, step by step this is how it ought to be book, this one provides more freedom for the reader to apply the principals in their relationship based on their own relationship needs, beliefs and values.

Looks great

Not got round to reading it yet but looking forward to it once I finished the other books Harrite has written.I'm sure it will be as helpful as they are