Getting More: How You Can Negotiate to Succeed in Work and Life

"Getting More: How to Negotiate to Achieve Your Goals in the Real World: by Stuart Diamond presents his "12 invisible strategies that change everything you thought you knew about negotiating." Diamond, who is an internationally recognized negotiation expert and award-winning professor of the famed negotiation course at Wharton Business School, has written one of the most practical and enjoyable negotiation books I've read in a long time. I really like this book. I like it so much that I used a copy as a give-a-way when I spoke on black belt strategies to break impasse at the Northwest Dispute Resolution Conference in Seattle, WA, earlier this month. If you are looking to "get more" from your negotiations, this is a book to read, learn from, and implement the strategies into your every day dealings. This is not jus a simple little book with a few "rules" or "guidelines," but rather a dense text of nearly four hundred pages of concrete strategies and real life examples of how the strategies have been used by numerous students of Diamond's classes. But before you get scared away by my calling this book a dense text of nearly 400 pages, be assured that it is easy and enjoyable to read. Additionally, it is very practical. That's one of the things I liked the most about this book. It isn't a college text book of theory, but rather a book of common sense and practical advice on negotiating in numerous every day situations. If one could criticize the book at all, it would be that some of the strategies seem simple and are common sense. So why don't people use them more? I don't know, but read this book, use them, and get more. Seriously, you will. You'll also find you get along better with people and just might enjoy your interactions with others more too. The book doesn't just present a bunch of negotiation "tricks." It provides sounds advice on communicating with others to help you get what you want, or at least more of what you want. It really is a book on interacting with others, which essentially is what negotiation is. We are always negotiating, the difference is if we do it well or not. This book will help you do it well. And not only will you get more, but when achieving your goals, you will help others too. The chapters on standards and trading things of unequal value are excellent. The examples throughout the book make the lessons real, and illustrate how they can be done. I've been teaching and writing about negotiation and mediation for a long time, and I learned a lot from this book. It has changed some of the things I teach. I encourage anyone who wants to improve their interactions with others and "get more" to read this book. Reviewed by Alain Burrese, J.D., author of a regular column on negotiation for The Montana Lawyer.

Stuart Diamond wrote an informative, easy-to-understand negotiation book. He provides numerous examples to clarify his points. Furthermore, he stresses many points over several chapters so that readers appreciate the nuances and importance of those points. Regardless of whether you are new to negotiation or are looking for a refresher, I highly recommend Diamond’s book.

"How to Get What You Want'" by Professor Stuart Diamond, which has been rated as the most popular lecture at Wharton School for 13 consecutive years, has been published as a book. It is a legendary, highly acclaimed lecture that has held the honor of being the most popular for 13 consecutive years within Wharton's unique system of auctioning classes using points given upon admission. This lecture introduces thorough methodologies on 'how' to get what you want. However, its approach to methodology is on a different level from existing specialized books on persuasion, speaking, or negotiation. This book is a so-called 'lecture to read' that faithfully conveys the lecture itself.

When negotiating -- Do you want to be right or be persuasive? Do you want to win or to meet your goals? Do the goals justify the means? How do you deal with someone who has more power or is being a bully? How do you deal with someone who is weaker? "Getting More" attempts to help you address these issues for yourself. Initially I was reluctant to read this book because it was presented to me as collection of underhanded manipulation techniques. At least the first story in it appears to be manipulative, but as I read further on, I realized that this is the best book on interpersonal communication and negotiation I have come across. What makes this book so different is that it successfully combines best ideas found in books on (1) negotiation, (2) social psychology, (3) personal growth. The concepts are based on common sense, requiring conscious effort and practice. There are no tricks. Recently, I was able to get a two day request done on the spot in five minutes without having to plead or threaten. The main idea is to recognize the fact that most of the time you can't force your will on others and if you do, it will be only be a momentary advantage with some form of retribution to follow in the future. It will always be very expensive. An extreme case would be a psychopath always finding a new victim. Dictators fall into that category. If you are not one of those, you will find that persuading a person to willingly cooperate will get better results for both, even in situations where you don't like or trust each other. For many, it may sound counterintuitive since we are often taught that competition is the principle rule of nature, i.e. it is survival of the fittest. We instinctively feel that to get anything, to achieve, one has to struggle to win, lose, or draw. The author repeatedly makes a point that this frame of mind generally results in poor outcomes, especially when the two parties have repeated interactions. One memorable quote was "Life is not a sports game. In sports, it is expected that one side will lose". I would replace "is not" with "doesn't have to" because competition is as much a part of life as cooperation. Some examples provided in the book describe situations where an effort to cooperate has an implicit competitive agenda. For example, satisfying mutual interests in an interview, or a business transaction, in effect locks out a `silent' third candidate. The advantage a person can have over another candidate is simply being a better communicator. That in itself is viewed as the greatest asset in variety of partnerships. So how does one get an adversary to cooperate? Just as with "How does one get to Carnegie Hall?" it is "Practice, practice, practice". For example, you have to become perceptive of the other person's state of mind, their needs and obligations. An individual often will become more receptive if he or she feels being heard and understood and not just being talked to. Some people a born with such skill but all can improve it thru every day casual interactions. The key is not to be lazy. People will cooperate simply because you show them respect or bring in a third party they obliged to respect, or recognize and empathize about an unrelated troubling issue. Another way of getting someone to work with you is to present the problem in a form of a fair trade, a deal, instead of a tug of war. Items to be traded many not even be on the negotiating table at the start and need to be discovered in the process. The book covers examples on dealing with negotiation "bullies" by pinning them against their own standards. People with lots of leverage often have to oblige some higher authority or standards, and even their own standards to appear to be consistent. On the other hand, the book warns not to use power carelessly. Because the techniques discussed can be can be misused, the author often warns to be prudent, just as one should be with a sharp knife. He defines manipulation as an action that at some point makes a person feel cheated or abused. There are cases where using these methods would be very challenging because they would require changing the `game' or breaking old habits. For example, the primary purpose of a political debate is to come up with the winner, not to solve an issue. Even when the winner is chosen, he or she must continue to wrestle with the opposition to maintain control. The `war' process is continuous and hence there is no time or room for constructive negotiations that would produce solutions. On a personal level, a couple going through a bitter divorce would rather strangle each other than try to empathize. In such contentious cases, to secure a `win', the opposing sides escalate by building up their armies with supporters, lawyers, and advisers. It often becomes a bitter and expensive war of attrition. The only hope of utilizing the concepts in the book in such cases is introduction a skillful mediating neutral third party. There are over a million lawyers in US. How many of them provide non-partisan negotiation services? This book is only as effective as your sphere of influence, which includes your family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and anyone you directly interact with. The premise is not to `take more' from others. It is `getting more' needs satisfied by both parties in a fair trade, and `get more' accomplished in your life.

Just finished reading this book. Diamond provides a common sense method to negotiation that anyone can employ, and tailor it to any situation, whether in high-stakes career dealings or day to day encounters. Lots of issue-specific examples and advice that hammers home the method throughout the book that it becomes second-nature. I find myself testing out and using the ideas and methods in many situations already.

Ricco di esempi e aneddoti (qualche centinaio). Veramente ben scritto, con un taglio pratico. Offre una prospettiva sulla negoziazione diversa rispetto agli altri libri in commercio. Lo consiglio vivamente.

Tengo este libro en versión en español y ahora compré la versión original para no perderme detalle. Debería ser de lectura obligatoria en las escuelas. Efectividad total de lo que explica cuando lo aplicas.

Some books are you take take them in a hand and kill it overnight- even non fictions! Some are like you process, bit by bit every night and execute the following day. Getting more falls in latter and going to stay forever. You probably know it all the time what you wanted and how you can get it rationally. But in real practical world, it slips.. this guy gives super handy formulas to stay course and play with humans- it works, every single day. Tons of stories and you might easily feel overwhelmed, but take a break and keep reading - and you're sure to get the gold! Ps- I bought the other version of the book that had two bunnies on the cover but this version is probably the revised publication

Very good book, highly recommend