I Only Say This Because I Love You: Talking to Your Parents, Partner, Sibs, and Kids When You're All Adults Paperback – May 28, 2002

I loved this book. For years, my family has had challenges with communication and finally there is some explanation to the various behaviors and characteristics that affect our communication or lack of. It is enlightening to realize that my family isn't unique and also once you understand the components of family communication, there can be improvements in the tension that it seems to create. Tannen uses great examples to illustrate her theory. It was an enlightening book which I wish I had read years ago.

A good book but if you haven't yet read "you just don't understand" you should get that book first or instead of this one. This one rambles and repeats a bit too much for my taste.

This book has already impacted the way I communicate with my teenager and my husband in a positive way. Full of practical advice and real world examples, this book really speaks to relationship tension that stems from the motivation behind words.

Deborah Tannen is one of the great thinkers of our time, so I’m surprised by how much she sounds like my mother. A good writer who rises above academia.

I read this book for a conflict resolution course I took through my university. It is an easily digestible read that changed the ways I view communication and conflict in my interpersonal relationships. I highly recommend this for anyone who wants to improve their relationships!

I loved Tannen's _You Just Don't Understand_ because of the fresh insights it provided, so I was especially disappointed when _I Only Say This Because I Love You_ failed to provide the same feeling of discovery and excitement.The book focuses on the frequent difference between the actual words that are spoken, and the meaning behind the words (meta-message), which is often about trying to create more connectedness or to alter the power and control dynamics of the relationship.I found it interesting, but not revolutionary (and I'd come to expect revolutionary from Dr. Tannen).By understanding the meta-messages both from ourselves and from others, we should have more power to address the meta-messages directly and not get involved in petty bickering and emotional responses that go nowhere except round-and-round.Overall, I would say that the book contains useful insights and helpful advice, but for people who have already spent time analyzing their intimate relationships, there's probably not much new.

I wish it was more about dealing with your siblings or other family members. Too often it's about matters between husband & wife. This subject has already been covered in some other books from the same author. In any case, it gives some practical advise.

Tannen is a great writer and a great linguist. She continues her wonderful job of explaining what people mean when they say things; sometimes they don't even understand what they are communicating when they speak.Another wonderful book by Tannen

My sister recommended the book to me. I've just started reading it but am pleased with the book so far. It seems to have helpful real life stories.

Easily the best book on relationships I ever read.