What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl's Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety

It's probably not easy to gauge the efficacy of a book by a woman and for women from a man's perspective. That being said, as a longtime sex assault prosecutor and anti-violence advocate, I can say confidently that WYRRW is a fantastic reference with common sense and deeply fair notions of not only self-protection and self defense (both psychologically and physically) but also self-discovery and self-support. I loved reading this book as a man, and not because I felt I was gaining some sexually valuable inside knowledge. Rather, it made me more attuned to what women often deal with (and that men don't) and how an emotionally healthy, happy and self-possessed woman can interact with a man (assuming she wants to) in a way that's better for both. WYRRW is not just a woman's book (although principally so). It's more of a book on being happy with who you are, what you want, and most importantly how to determine both in the first place. Great work, Ms. Friedman. I look forward to seeing more from you.

I wish I had had this book when I was 20. It would have saved me many years of strife muddling through it myself in a toxic, sex-negative culture. After hearing someone recommend it to a younger acquaintance, I bought a copy to read... then promptly bought copies for my younger college-aged sisters. I thought it might be a kind of weird book to get from your sister (my family Does Not Talk about such things), but did it anyway. My sisters were extremely excited to get the book. One reports back that her dormmates are basically lining up to be the next to read it, and thanked me for being someone willing to talk to her about sexuality and sexual health. This is a GREAT resource for opening conversations and giving young women the space to figure out what they want for themselves. I only wish I knew of an equivalent resource for young men.

This book was not at all what I expected when I first purchased it. I did not expect it to be a workbook of sorts and I initially was a little dissapointed. However, I started reading it and found myself doing the exercises and learning alot about myself in the process. Definitely worth buying!

I found this book very helpful in beginning to differentiate between my sexual values, and the ones that society or my family bestowed upon me. I have always wondered why I am totally in support of my friends who openly express their sexuality, but have always been too concerned with looking like a "slut" to feel comfortable enough satisfying my own urges when I feel it is right. The journaling was very informative and made me realize that my hang-ups have been keeping me from experiencing this physical journey to the fullest. If you're open minded or want to become more so, then this book could be for you!

This is one of those books where the author really has better work else ware. It really did not live up to my expectations. If you want to try it go ahead,but personally I wold not run out to buy it.

Very insightful and a helpful tool for understanding sexuality on a personal level as well as a universal one. I appreciate how inclusive she is of all types of sexualities and does not limit it to a heterosexual perspective like a lot of things do. Very helpful especially for younger, single women and teens but a great resource for women of all ages and walks of life.

1

A must read for any girl confused by or disappointed by sex. Depending on maturity this works for kids as young as 14, it isn't necessary to be sexually active to get the powerful message in here about self-esteem and not putting up with "expectations". Indeed, reading it before deciding whether or not to start will help make that decision the most healthy one. It is explicit, so expect questions if you have that sort of relationship with your daughter.

This should honestly be mandatory reading for a sex education curriculum. I wish I had read this in my mid-teens. It contains a lot of good information about consent, not caving into pressure from men, and deconstructing the shame society causes in women and girls about their own sexuality.

This one book is better then anything else growing up and even into adulthood that anyone ever bothered to teach me or any of the girls in all my classes. Had we had this and used it we would have had such a safer happier time of it.

Wonderful book which could not have been more perfectly written for a confused young woman like me. Jaclyn Friedman is not only the kindest, most sensitive voice out there but completely no-nonsense in helping the reader figure out what they want, in sex and in life. Would highly recommend.