The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide: Essential Skills for Living Well in an Overstimulating World (Step-By-Step Guides)

As a child, I was sent to my room as punishment for being "too sensitive" within my very stoic family. Looking back, I think I probably relished the time alone although I still remember the conflicting feelings of aloneness in not being understood, wondering why I so easily cried during a sad movie or other empathic inducements while others did not, wondering if there really was something wrong with me, etc. Later, in trying to eliminate all pieces of the sensitivity traits, I remained a bit different, regardless. Later still, I have found a good balance which simply comes from knowing and being true to yourself, knowing your strengths and limitations, saying "yes" to what would be good for you and learning to say "no" when need be. Good sense for anyone - highly sensitive or not.The HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) is wired differently than most. Their nervous systems are more reactive and finely tuned, processing things - both positive and negative - more deeply. Also their brain wave patterns are more frequently in the theta state (near the state of meditation, open to intuitive feelings and able to pick up light, sound and other subtle vibrations easily) so truly they should be aware that their water glass holds more stimuli from sources that can become overwhelming and spilled over when not handled properly.Maybe it's because I am an older HSP and have learned to adjust to the inherent traits, but I felt this book was not as beneficial as I had hoped. In addition, I felt many parts of "The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide" focused on negative limitations instead of needed ways to transcend problems and troublesome situations.Reading this book from a non-HSP's perspective, I viewed the HSP portrayed as being willfully temperamental, weak, fragile and needing to be coddled. I also felt they were singled out for possession of weaknesses not necessarily belonging to an HSP but could fit a broader population or sometimes anyone at all. A few examples are: "In some situations it can be useful to state that you have a finely tuned nervous system before you request that the person change their (annoying) behavior." (Yet the scenarios given would make anyone upset and it's doubtful that telling the offender that one is HSP, would help.) "The hospital and medical environment is quite emotionally challenging for the HSP." (I disagree.) "By the way, I don't think the song `I Could Have Danced All Night' was written by an HSP." (I disagree with the inference that an HSP doesn't have the physical stamina and/or that they may need a constant drone of boredom in order to survive.) References to "safe", quiet spaces, "inhospitable environment" and other innuendoes caused me to believe the inaccurate stereotyping that HSPs must be catered to due to their delicate natures."The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide" is a great resource guide for any who need to learn how to take care of themselves, however. Written by Ted Zeff, PH.D., a psychologist who has taught stress reduction, insomnia management and also currently teaches workshops for HSP, "The Highly Sensitive Person's Survival Guide" is filled with very detailed methods of sensible and vital information and coping techniques for anyone wanting to reduce stress levels and live a calmer and healthier lifestyle. I especially enjoyed the "Nurturing The HSP Soul" chapter.

About 8-10 years ago, I ordered Elaine Aron's book about HSPs mainly because it promised a solution to the problem of the unwanted intrusion of neighbor's stereos. I'd had problems with bearing the SOUNDS from stereos in every environment I was in for almost all my adult life, and then I began to have a greater problem with the effects of the VIBRATIONS from stereos. (I figured that technology at that point had recently created new stronger vibrational qualities in stereos.) I'd also had long periods of anger incited by the heavy cigarette smoke of co-workers in my work environment and in the world at large. Aron's book, like Ted Zeff's book which elaborates on some of the same material as Aron's, offered the suggestion to make a deal with the offending neighbors by which they would agree to confine their music to certain limited hours. This strategy worked in one of my situations for a short time with one set of neighbors, but later there was a situation of either these or other neighbors (impossible to decipher who they were) playing strong stereo VIBRATIONS--but with only almost inaudible SOUND. Lots of trembling and thumping sensations. It went on 24/7 for months and I eventually succumbed to major depression and a nervous breakdown, was unable to function, was hospitalized, sold my house, moved eventually into a new apartment dwelling. Now constant stereo VIBRATIONS have become a problem again. It's impossible to search out and make deals with the stereo-playing "addicts." And some of such people seem to be bullies who enjoy annoying other people.The smoke problem was solved when a law was finally made to heavily restrict cigarette smoking in many places, and I figure that will be the only way to really correct the problem of stereo vibrations which have a strongly disruptive effect on some people. So far, I'm the only person I know who feels, and is so very disabled and angered by stereo VIBRATIONS--just that thumping and bumping sensation. If it were only the loud SOUNDS that were the problem, I'd be able to report loudness to apartment managers or police, although those measures I've found to be ultimately unhelpful in the past. I hold onto the hope that elected officials will someday make restrictive laws regarding allowable stereo SOUNDS AND VIBRATIONS BOTH. Also, there is Zeff's suggestion of getting custom ear plugs made by an audiologist which I can try.Recently reading Ted Zeff's book because I'm desperate again re stereo intrusions, I found a great deal of helpful information here for dealing with the stresses of life in general. I think it would be a helpful book for most anybody to read, as well as HSPs. However, a lot of the information in this book many persons would probably already be aware of if they have an interest in alternative/holistic health--this book relies heavily on help from those perspectives. Certain Yoga exercises, the general suggestion of a "warm, heavy, moist" diet according to Ayurveda categories, and so on...I found that it offered me explicitly some new and helpful information about SLEEP and sleep problems, such as I hadn't previously found in articles about how to get better sleep. Also the chapters about nourishing harmonious RELATIONSHIPS and nourishing the HSP SOUL turned out to be really marvelous from both the points of view of psychological wisdom and spiritual wisdom. Zeff comments about reactions of anger, judgmentalness, unforgiveness, and also about the need for self esteem. He draws upon a broad spectrum of basic spiritual insights both Eastern and Western, although it is obvious that Ted himself has preferred to immerse himself in Eastern approaches to healing and religion.Some examples of Ted's spiritual remarks are: "The nature of a human being's egotistical love is conditional. However, divine love, as exemplified by the true saints such as Christ, Buddha, or Mother Theresa is unconditional." Or, "Essentially, all religions teach the same thing--to love the divine Higher Power and be compassionate to others as well as to yourself. If you put all the spiritual masters in one room, they would agree on everything, but if you put all the disciples in one room they would agree on nothing. The more we take comfort in the divine presence within, the better able we will be to cope with life challenges. The stable, unwavering love of God gives us succor during stressful times." He urges patience and detachment: "You will be able to transcend your temporary challenges as you develop spiritually through meditation, prayer, reading spiritual books, spending time in quiet, natural surroundings....The more you perform selfless service, helping others, the less you will focus on your own problems....You can increase patience and detachment by following the serenity prayer dedicated to Saint Francis...." Zeff urges the daily practice of deliberately feeling Gratitude and showing Appreciation of other people, doing good deeds instead of dwelling on one's personal anger.(If you have strong convictions about how God exists and teaches Truth through only your own religious tradition, or if you think there is no such thing as a "higher power," remarks like those I've quoted above may offend you and you may see them as being more false than true. So, you may want to consider whether or not you would want to expose your religious or irreligious sensibilities to Ted Zeff's pan-inclusive spiritual offerings of help for the HSP condition. A condition which seems to derive, by the way, from the physical make-up of one's "nervous system.") (Elaine Aron's book for HSPs about how to thrive when the World overwhelms you doesn't mention much about Eastern wisdom or healing techniques, as I recall--but my memory about it may be inaccurate.)Zeff deals with the psychological phenomenon of "projection" which is a mechanism that can involve judging others. Among other interesting points in Zeff's chapter about relationships, I found particularly interesting his comments about how HSPs can be either High Stress Seekers or Low Stress Seekers as an aspect of their sensitive natures, and how these aspects of personalities sometimes need to be worked out between people in close relationships.Zeff refers to Elaine Aron's books that are specifically about "The HSP in Love," and "The HSP Child," which sound like interesting helpful further reading. He has a good book list for other further reading. He has a concluding chapter about choosing the right healer or healing technique in the quest to overcome HSP problems.(Elaine Aron's book "Highly Sensitive Person" contains some specific concluding advice for health-care professionals and teachers who have to deal with HSP people and of course Zeff's whole book could be helpful in that regard also.)I found that I was very eager to read some of the basic information that Zeff included from the psychological scientific tradition. (He's been a psychologist for 30 years, teaching stress reduction and sleep management to hospitals and medical groups.)

As some people have said there is some useful information here and helpful tips but also a lot of twee new agey nonsense . If you ignore the new agey peace and love to all stuff then this book can help you with practical information about reducing stimulation and coping better in the world.

Full of amazing tips and info

Got stuck after the first few chapters. Not addressing my needs.

After reading about 3 months all literature around HSP, this book has come in very handy. Written in practical language and guidelines, there are enough tipps including all areas of your life that you need to adjust your lifestyle to your sensitivity, reduce stress and increase inner peace and harmony as soon as possible. Well written, good read.

Ok book, is the truth. Helps you understand the person with this kind of sensitivity.