I Will Carry You: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy

I found Angie's website not long after I lost a much desired little boy in the second trimester of pregnancy. Weeks prior to hearing the news that there was no longer a heartbeat, we had had an ultrasound scan go from excited and chatty to ominously quiet and soberly being informed we would need the radiologist to come in to assess the situation. We found out I had low amniotic fluid and unless the situation reversed our child would not be able to develop lungs properly and would not survive. We also were advised to terminate, but opted to let God decide what would unfold for our baby. We did not know how it would all turn out, but through our tears, it was also a time of sweet closeness with God. When I found Angie's website and saw her family's profoundly poignant journey with Baby Audrey, I was touched. I related to many aspects, and was so often moved and inspired by her faith and wisdom and her eloquent writings. I knew she was planning to write a book about Audrey Caroline and then we moved abroad and I lost track of her blog and forgot about the book. A few weeks ago, I found myself remembering Angie's book and looked it up on Amazon. I immediately placed my order and eagerly awaited its arrival. When I opened my copy of the book, I was riveted and could not put it down. Her insights and wisdom and verse selections and honesty and the tender telling of her story were all profoundly moving to me! I would imagine that this book could touch anyone dealing with loss or difficult circumstances. I know for me it was so powerful because of our loss of that little boy we never held. I think her truths and insights extend to all difficult situations and trusting God even when life hurts. Along with her story, she has at the end of her book some very special and helpful chapters. There is one about helping children through loss of a sibling, one written by her husband which gives some of his perspective, and a very helpful and tender chapter about loving a friend or family member through a loss like this one. If you have lost a little one, at any stage, I think this is a remarkably healing book. I went through a lot of kleenex and my body shook with sobs at times. I also went through a lot of highlighter ink as I noted so many powerful thoughts and encouragements and truths. Thank you Angie Smith for sharing your heart and your experience so openly and so tenderly and so lovingly and so prayerfully. It was a blessing and a privilege to read your book. I see that she has another book and very much look forward to reading it as well.

Although I never lost a baby I did lose my oldest son at age 37. He left behind a wife and two daughters that have never been the same since. This book deals with loss and in a very real way. It deals with the emotions from beginning to end and in a way that is understandable. Angie, brings the story of Martha, Mary and Lazarus into life. She stressed how Martha brought the problems to Jesus without trying to say what she wanted Him to do about it. She just brought the problem and left it at His feet. Angie takes faith to new levels but also shows how faith can encourage, but it doesn't remove the hurt. You may know what God is doing, or you may not, but loss hurts and it is different for everyone. I loved the way she brought her three girls into the loss in such a way that they could learn to cope with the loss of their baby sister. She allowed them to learn and discover God's goodness in the midst of tragedy and heartache. Children understand way more then we give them credit. My granddaughters lost their father, ages 11 and 4. They have never been the same since. It will be 10 years this coming May. The oldest is turning 21 in April. She still hurts more than she can express in words. The younger one actually saw her father on the floor (her mother did not realize she had gone in the room) and carried the effects of seeing her father, his face totally blue from having cardiac arrest. She is a lovely girl now with a wonderful singing talent given from God and a heart that loves God. But she too still hurts. This book can help, parent, siblings, friends and everyone else deal with emotions, feelings and loss caused by death of a loved one. Read it, share it with friends. It will help. Angie is gifted with being able to write what she is feeling and experiencing. Let her walk you through your loss.

My friend (whose cousin is the author) gave me this book to read after my youngest was born stillborn. It brought great encouragement and helped me in a very lonely time to read about others who have gone through the grief of losing a child. She does a good job of telling her story while encouraging the reader to know and trust in the Lord, the creator and one who cares for all those he has made. I bought the book so I could have my own copy. It has been a great blessing.

Just a special story of a parents love

Like many people, when I first came across Angie Smith's blog "Bring the Rain," I was captivated for an entire afternoon, reading the blog from beginning to end. I've followed her almost daily ever since. For those who haven't read her blog, it's worth it, but picking up her book was the same experience - I sat down to read and lost myself for an evening until I finished the book. It is an excellent read. I'm not a mother, but I still was able to relate to a lot of Angie's story. I love how she writes about needing to hear reassurance from her own lips, and I started saying to myself "Even now" during the seemingly trivial struggles I face during the day that usually weigh me down - but yesterday I felt lighter. I appreciate how Angie frankly discusses her struggles with anxiety even before Audrey came into her life, and she really brings you into the story of Lazarus with her exquisite way of describing how she would have seen it had she been standing there living it. I loved the extra research she did (with the help of her husband Todd's library, she adds) and it made me want to do so on my own as well. That's what this book gives to me - the desire to grow and learn more as a Christian and as a woman. I can see people taking different things from this book, as it is a wonderful resource for those grieving a loss, or the people who support them. But even if that isn't the primary struggle you are faced with now, there's still a lot for you to gain from reading "I Will Carry You." Thank you for this, Angie.

I was intrigued by the sub title: The Sacred Dance of Grief and Joy. It hinted of the trust partnership experienced by a dancing couple, as one submits to the other, to lead them across the dance floor. I was not disappointed as intrigue became captivation, as the tale unfolded. This true story of a family weaving their way through the knowledge that their fourth daughter would not survive more than a few hours after her birth has many twists and turns, highs and lows, keeping the reader engrossed to understand the emotional rollercoaster of losing a child. Only parents who have worn similar shoes to those of Angie and Tom Smith will be able to fully identify and empathise with them. But anyone who has lost a close family member, or indeed anyone who knows the joys and trials of parenthood, can learn much from their open and sensitive retelling of those brief, but interminably long nine months, when the initial happy news of a new life beginning, turns to grief as her rare condition is discovered. The couple's firm decision to complete the pregnancy is rooted in a strong faith in Jesus Christ, as the one who will steer them along this most difficult of paths. But this book is no lightweight, 'faith conquers all' account. By contrast, in places it is heart-rending and brutally honest, exposing a young mother's pain and anguish for her unborn child, her other children, her husband and of course herself. Angie Smith's account also portrays the intricate support partnerships that developed between their family, the medical services and their church, giving hope to other families in similar circumstances. It is a triumph for the progress that has been made in the area of loss and bereavement, clearly bringing it into the open where it can be faced as part of life. I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to know more about dealing with loss. It will not only inform you, but will enlarge your compassion for those you meet whose hearts are fragile and broken by life's gift of suffering.

I'm very thankful this book was recommended to me, it was a great supportive resource during a very difficult time. If you come across someone who could use this support, please share this book with them as well 🩷

I discovered Audrey's story when I lost my daughter, Dakota. For the past few months, I have been mainly interested in reading books written by people who went through the loss of a child. As soon as I began reading, I couldn't stop. Audrey's story touched me. I absolutely love the Bible references within this book and the Faith written within the words. As I was reading this, I have to say that Angie opened my eyes to different aspects of our loss. I was very touched spiritually while reading this book. I believe now that God had a purpose for Dakota and used her to bring me closer to him for a life plan he has for me. I believe his plan for me is to help others who are going through the same thing I did. As I read Audrey's story, it helped to to reflect back on my own written story of my angel baby. I couldn't believe how similar they were but yet, they were so different. I am one of those parents who was thrown into the grief and I didn't have the time to prepare myself or my daughter. This book has helped me form the words I needed to answer some of the questions my daughter has asked. Angie has made me realize that it is okay to say, "I don't know" and not feel like I was letting her down. I couldn't help but comparing I Will Carry You with my own published book, Saying Goodbye Without Saying Hello. I felt like another side of the story was being told. I want to say that this book will help those who are lost after they have experienced the heartbreaking event of child-loss and it'll help those who haven't gone through it to understand. I believe there is so much more to this story and it's a message to those who question their own Faith. I must say that after reading this, I picked up my Bible for the first time in months and began reading it. So, a HUGE thank you goes out to Angie Smith for sharing her story.