BALLS: It Takes Some to Get Some

BALLS is a wonderfully honest and inspiring memoir that reinforces the power of loving and accepting families, the strength and resilience of the human spirit, the importance of an accepting employer and the power of humor to navigate even the most challenging of conversations. Working in the ad/marketing industry, two themes stood out for me:The first being his early adoption of new (keep in mind the year was 1995), marketing strategies such as ‘evangelism marketing’ or ‘word-of-mouth’. When he wanted his colleagues to know about his transition, he successfully set out to turn each of them into brand evangelists. He sought out a group of coworkers whom he coached, educated and ensured were sufficiently knowledgeable about the sensitive subject of his transition, to start spreading the news on his behalf throughout the Arnold community.Secondly, the importance and benefits of having a compassionate and supportive employer who genuinely cares about their staff, embraces diversity in all its wonderful forms and recognizes that these types of stories will often cement their position as an employer of choice. The culture at Arnold was so powerful that their employees went to extraordinary lengths to create a sense of belonging for those around them.A worthy read that will open your eyes to both the challenges and opportunities that face people as they transition.

Chris has been very honest and it is a breath of fresh air to read such a positive well written story. Thanks for being so open Chris and thanks for shining the light.

5★ for a brave memoirWhat’s not to love about a book that explains warts (and hairs) and all how a guy changed his life in ways and for reasons most of us never think about? You need to read this.Imagine, if you will, waking up one morning, going into the bathroom to shave, and a lady is looking at you from the mirror. Or imagine going to the mirror to put on your lippy and mascara, but staring back at you is a hairy bloke.My dad, who developed dementia, said he was glad he wasn’t as bad as some guy he read about who woke up, looked in the mirror one morning and said, “Who the hell are you?!”Of course, this isn’t Chris Edwards’ experience, but equally shattering was the shock of realising at puberty that he was really STUCK in the wrong body, new boobs, periods and all.Even as a tot, he had said he wasn’t “one of the girls” (one of three sisters) because he was a boy. But it wasn’t until years later, after postponing his planned suicide many times over the course of his school career, that he discovered, to his enormous relief, that he had a recognised medical condition: gender dysphoria.“The fact that there was an actual medical term that described what I had been feeling my entire life had completely blown my mind. It made me feel validated—relieved that I wasn’t insane and that there were others who felt the same way I did.”What’s more:“Bottom line is, your gender identity has no bearing on whether you are gay or straight. Think of it this way: Sexual orientation is who you go to bed with; gender identity is who you go to bed as.”Chris tells his story with lots of funny anecdotes, plenty of good gossipy sorts of references to the ad-world that he works in, and a lot of good-natured self-deprecation about how intensely self-absorbed he became during his transition. Credit where credit is due, too, especially to his parents who forked out a LOT of money to pay for the surgeries (and therapy!) to help him through it.I thoroughly enjoyed this informative peek – no this privileged PERV – under the sheets, to see what he went through.It’s also very entertaining. Early in the piece, the head of broadcast of the ad agency (his dad is the CEO) decided to inform her team what Chris was going through and that everyone was supporting him and they’d better watch their own backs if they didn’t!“When she asked if there were any questions, the first one out of the gate was, ‘Are we all going to be on Oprah, and if so, what should we wear?’ ”Chris felt decidedly lucky. He frequently quotes statistics (and gives references).“Ninety percent of transgender employees are harassed, mistreated, or discriminated against at work, and more than a quarter said they were fired because of their transition.”He noticed a lot of changes in his temperament as the hormone (testosterone) treatment kicked in. He realised guys really do feel more aggressive and probably are less likely to burst into tears. So don’t pick on a guy because he’s not reacting as you think he should.“Bottom line: If a guy cries less than a girl, it isn’t necessarily because he is unfeeling or less emotional. More likely, it’s due to his hormonal make-up. Unless, of course, he really is just a dick.”And if you meet someone who is transgender, don’t ask about surgery.“First, it’s none of your business. Second, it’s offensive because by asking that question you are implying that the person is not the gender they feel they are unless they alter their genitals. The fact is gender identity is not defined by what’s inside your pants; it’s defined by what’s inside your brain.”Thanks for writing this book, Chris, for giving answers to the questions we didn’t even know we wanted to ask! And thanks to NetGalley for the preview copy from which I’ve quoted. Apologies if the quotes have changed since, but I’m sure the sentiment hasn’t.