Red Wheel Finding Peace at the End of Life: A Death Doula's Guide for Families and Caregivers

This is an excellent book for a death doula, family member of someone dying, hospice worker, etc. You can feel the compassion and care in the author’s writing. I highlighted several sections to come back to when needed. I’m training to be a hospice volunteer, and I can see myself using this book as my daily guide.

Written in clear and concise language with many good examples of life (and dying) scenarios.

I work as a chartered psychologist and psychotherapist with team in a large NHS hospital, most of my work involves supporting oncology / cancer patients and their families, As both in-patients and out patients. The work is deeply rewarding but also saddening, humbling and thought provoking. I've read multiple books, articles, journals and undertaken all manner of training aimed at improving my skills to support end of life patients. Until finding this book and one other that I mention at the end of this review, I found myself continually frustrated and disapointed after reading other books. Many are too academic or religious, and not easy to translate into practice. It is difficult to find frank and practical advise for approaching the very wide variety of complicated end of life challenges that arise. This book was insightful, deeply moving and very helpful. It is sensitively written, and only toward the end does the author point out that the end of life Doula movement has predominantly been a volunteer staffed undertaking. (Only more recently has paid employement slowly become available in limited areas) I was deeply moved when hearing the descriptions of the work these mostly volunteers undertook. And inspired by the authors determination to research and re-train, so that he could do better in the work that he initially undertook as a hospice social worker. Here in the UK hospices are not able to help all of those who need their help, they receive minimal statuatory funding (the one nearest to our hospital recieves 40% funding from local commissioning groups the rest of their funding is through donations.) The waiting lists for beds mean that not all my my patients are fortunate enough to make it to the hospice, and the support available in hospital varies between wards. Patients have reported that hospice nurses are not able to visit patients weekly and simple things like support for pain managment ends up being patchy, patients and their families have reported feeling abandoned and community care is inaequate. The NHS has been crumbling for years, and I realise that in places like the USA many have no health care, let alone help at the end of life. Therefore it has been incredibly helpful to have found this book. Those of us who are doing our best to make the most of the limited time we have need insightful input, as training options are limited or non-existent. We have a chaplin team working with us, but not all patients and famlies wish for religious input, indeed not all wish to speak with a counsellor or psychologist, but many do reach out and I believe the least we can do as professionals is be aware of approaches that are tried and tested and can be of help. I also recommed for other professionals, and some families, a book by the australian Oncologist Dr Ranjana Srivastava, 'A Better Death', who is deeply reflective and compassionate and gives heart felt rationales for why she feels it is important to try and have 'those difficult' conversations when a loved one is seriously unwell. I was dismayed to see one very negative review of this book, by a hospice chaplain who seemed to have a negative perspective linked to his or her own training and work. My own training as an undergraduate psychologist and then post graduate masters student and then doctorate entailed 9 years of full time university education, much of it part-time whilst I worked. Very little of this training involved significantly helpful focus on end of life matters. There is still so much to learn. i am grateful to have found this book. And hope that other professionals, counsellors, nurses, priests and alike might consider reading it. As training across different cities let alone countries is not consistent and neither is hospice care.

I’ve been a social worker for 17 years and recently switched to hospice care. This book has been invaluable in helping patients. Highly recommend.

This book is required reading for the Death Doula course I am taking in January. The author provides the tools to start a conversation about death and dying. The insights gleaned can help the dying person pass peacefully and help loved ones deal with the loss and explore their own myths about dying.