Girls Like Us: Fighting for a World Where Girls Are Not for Sale: A Memoir

So, disclosure: I'm an activist against human trafficking and a survivor of commercial sexual exploitation myself. When Girls Like Us arrived in the mail I greeted the book like a long-lost friend. It was almost embarrassing, I was so giddy about it. Maybe I was a little bit apprehensive, too. What if it didn't live up to my very high expectations? I was a writer for years before moving into social work, and I'm pretty picky. But that little fear disappeared the minute I started reading. Rachel Lloyd is a writer. To me, reading Girls Like Us has felt like coming home. In a good way. This full-hearted, infinitely loving, and also totally human -- as in it's ok to be goofy, sometimes impatient, enjoy fun shoes and also be a serious activist-person --memoir/social analysis has been maybe the first time since I was 13-years-old and lured and abducted by a pimp/trafficker that I've felt 100 percent in the company of someone who understands. Lloyd knows the potential and preciousness of every child, girl, woman, and that our experiences don't define or limit us, especially once love is added to the mix. Plus, like pioneering memoir writer Mary Carr, Lloyd manages to make us laugh. Sometimes through the tears, sure. But laugh, nonetheless. Rachel Lloyd has taught me many things with this book. Among them (though I could go on forever) that the survivor guilt I felt for having escaped so fast is actually that, survival guilt (didn't have a name for that before, it kind of mostly went away once I did). That I don't have to be the most saintly, perfect person on Earth to dedicate my life to creating a world where "girls are not for sale" (i.e., I can be kind of at my wits end sometimes, and also it's ok to like frivolous TV (I was going to do it anyway, but the example is helpful). And most importantly, though I admit I kind of knew this going in, what's revolutionary about the organization Lloyd founded, GEMS (Girls Educational and Mentoring Services) is that love is its binding element. To paraphrase Lloyd, people don't connect to programs, they connect to people. Yep. Lloyd is the first writer I've come across who's been able to create an accessible and very readable synthesis of the factors at all levels creating the conditions under which children can be routinely bought and sold in the United States. American children. Our own little girls. She asks the critical question: Why are we appalled that little girls in exotic places are forced into the sex industry, but when our own are we think it's their "choice?" She understands the importance of addressing demand (who's buying these children anyway, and why aren't they going to jail?), the utter injustice of vilifying the girls themselves when they're exploited (how can there be high school girls in Rikers Island Prison? Why aren't the men who bought and sold them there, instead? What kind of crazy system charges an 11-year-old girl for prostitution and, again, not the men who bought and sold her?). Lloyd understands law and policy, and she knows what girls need to heal. And somehow she manages to write in such a way that connections throughout these things are clear, easy to understand, and read like a good novel. This is new. This hasn't happened before. We really need to pay attention. You don't have to be a "survivor" to fall in love with this book. I expect that girls and women, almost regardless of their backgrounds, will recognize the struggle to navigate a world that seems at times so hostile and dangerous for them. But they'll also recognize the sister in Rachel Lloyd, the hope that she brings and the vision, and be happy to have met her and heard her say her heart out loud.

Rachel begins this memoir by explaining that she is the Executive Director of a Program named GEMS (Girls Educational and Mentoring Services). The program is designed to help girls and young women who have been recruited and trafficked into the commercial sex industry. GEMS is a place where the girls can come and receive counseling from caseworkers; learn different skills such as (poetry, cooking, boxing group); use computers or just simply hang out. Rachel has a unique story of her own because she used to be a “Commercially Sexually Exploited Youth.” Rachel knows firsthand of the things that happened to a girl while they are in “The Life.” As Rachel shares her story from the age of 13 until her mid-thirties; she explains the life of a trafficked child in rich detail. Rachel explains of key phrases and terminology used by the girls and those used by law enforcement. Rachel explains that politicians, officials, police and many other people have biases towards these girls. Rachel also explains several scenarios that would enlist a girl to be sexually exploited. Rachel gives us several stories of the girls that has entered and left the GEMS program. Rachel describes how pimps recruit young girls and also how they treat the same girls badly. Rachel explains how the media can affect the outcome of a case and how much help a person can get on a case. Rachel has learned that through her helping these girls for 10 years that she has learned to value herself.

Lloyd’s sometimes difficult to look at, but honest memoir shines a light on the abuse and exploitation happening right here, under our collective noses and shows how it persists despite the efforts of many dedicated people like herself. It also highlights the pathological way our society undervalues women and children of lower socioeconomic status, especially people of color, and how the resulting broken families and psychological trauma leaves kids with no choices vulnerable to the commercial sex industry. The story of Rachel Lloyd’s eventual escape from “the life” and how she went on to found GEMS, Girls Education and Mentoring Service in New York City, to help other young girls escape is however, a beacon of hope in this dark tale. The writing is excellent and the narrative bounces back and forth between the author’s own life and vignettes of ‘the girls’ and their struggles. It draws you in with it’s raw humanity, and compassion, making this difficult subject relatable in a way that was unexpected. The quote at the beginning of chapter two made a big impact on me. There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul Than the way in which it treats its children. --Nelson Mandela This story resonated with me more than I thought it would. In my twelve years working in EMS I came into contact with a small part of this world, through encounters with a few anti-trafficking task force members, and trafficking victims, But on a daily basis in this job, I saw how the system I was a part of was failing the children we were supposedly ‘helping.’ This book showed me how those failures can make children vulnerable to trafficking, and how to appreciate the special people making a real difference in tackling this horrific problem and the societal failures that perpetuate it. Without sugar coating or sparing her legacy, or the reader’s sensitivities the author maintained a sense of hope and positivity throughout the book and maintains this positivity in a way that is truly inspiring. We need to do a better job of taking care of all of our society’s children and Rachel Lloyd shows us where to begin

This book gives you deep insight into the world of sex trafficking, especially concerning teenage and pre teen girls in the US that are exploited by pimps and johns. The book covers the lack of justice in the court system especially concerning these girls. Rachel intertwines her own story into the book as she was a victim and how she got out. She started a wonderful program to help these girls. It is a heavy book emotionally, but very informative with no pussy footing around the subject. It also covers the emotional scars the victims suffer and the difficulties they face when they try to get out of the "life". There is quite a bit of bad language so be prepared.

Well-written and thoughtful, Girls Like Us details the horrific treatment of commercially and sexually exploited children and their mistreatment by the police, the courts and the society that brands them "criminals" rather than children forced by circumstance into terrible situations. Rachel Lloyd skillfully weaves her own experiences with a profound understanding of the psychology of exploited children. Her founding of GEMS and its impact on the lives of trafficked children is inspirational, but the details of abuse, torture and, often death, are hard to read but awareness is the first step toward change.

From my book review blog, ElectricBookworm.com: Every once in a while, a book comes along that is so powerfully written, it has the ability to cause you to change how you think, how you feel, and maybe even: how you act. For me, such a book is Girls Like Us: Fighting For a World Where Girls Are Not for Sale, by Rachel Lloyd. I recently completed a 60-hour training course on Crisis Intervention, in order to work with victims of sexual assault, domestic violence, and/or elder abuse. One of our sessions focused on human sex trafficking, and this book was recommended by our phenomenal presenter, who works with victims of such trafficking. The session opened my eyes to the "top layer" of misconceptions around sex trafficking -- especially with regard to children. For example, I think many (most?) of us believe that only women from other countries are forced into prostitution here in the United States. Reading the book opened my eyes to the entire landscape of a devastating underworld that is closer to home than most of us realize. Over 70% of all those forced into (and I do mean forced) sex work in the United States are Americans. This book, written by such a victim, who now works tirelessly as an advocate for these voiceless victims, puts a bald but factual face on the many "myths" surrounding those in the "sex trade." Just a few examples: that prostitutes choose "the life" (as it is known in the vernacular), that prostitutes are from low socio-economic backgrounds, that prostitutes are runaways, that prostitutes "do it because they like it," that prostitutes stay in the life because of the money they can make, especially when they have no other skills, that prostitutes are "asking for it" when they are beaten/raped/humiliated by their "johns" and/or pimps because after all: they should have known what they were getting into when they "became" prostitutes. I read this book from cover to cover in two sittings, unable to turn away from it. It is passionately and compassionately written by a woman who has successfully led the fight to pass critically important legislation regarding sex work. One of the latest developments we learned about in our training was that - nowadays -- minors (boys and girls under the age of 18) do NOT have to prove they were "coerced or forced" into the trade. And this is because: by definition, a minor does not have the necessary resources or skills to resist being lured into the sex trade, especially when they are convinced they have no other option. If you possess an open mind and an open heart, I promise this book will change you, and in very important ways. Even if you finish the book and simply change the vocabulary you use when referring to people in the sex trade, it will be a major step forward in the fight to stop human sex trafficking. I am not a political person, and I rarely get up on a soapbox, but I will make an exception here. Tomorrow, Valentine's Day, is one that will be marked all over our country by people who are standing up against sex trafficking and violence in that world. It is called the "One Billion Rising," an international call to action that focuses on ending violence and sexual assault against women all over the world. For more information, please go to VDAY.org. The name of the event derives from the fact that human sex trafficking is a $1 billion/year business. This is the first time since I began this blog that I am going to give a "current" book a 5-Worm Rating . . . . and believe me: it's not just because of the interest and passion it has stirred in me, but also because it is remarkably well written. I promise you will not walk away from this story untouched -- and in a hopeful way.

I love this book. Rachel Lloyd is an inspiration. She is out in the world and she is telling girls everywhere 'you can do what I have done' - you can get out of prostitution and you can have an amazing life. Her book goes into detail about how she felt inside, how she struggled with her mother, how she got 'in the life' and how she got out. You can see that Rachel has learned to love herself. She makes fun of herself, she shows raw emotion. She respects herself and she loves and respects all the girls she works with. She is a true feminist. Her descriptions of pimps is terrifying and true. She is able to bring us inside the social constructs while we are brought inside the heart and soul of the vulnerable girls who only want to be loved, who's mothers were never there for them. Rachel walks the walk and talks the talk in this book. She has clinical insight and depth, you can see she has done her own self reflection and healing. G.E.M.S. is a wonderful program and you can see from "Girls Like Us" how girls can find their way back, find their way back to love and healing. I particularly love the personal voice throughout the book, intertwined with the girls stories and Rachel's story, where Rachel started and where she now just begins to educate us all. This is a very positive book about hope. You will never feel the same about prostitution, you will never feel the same about sex abuse. You will be inspired to join Rachel in her fight "FOR A WORLD WHERE GIRLS ARE NOT FOR SALE" Patti Feuereisen Ph.D. author of "Invisible Girls: The Truth About Sexual Abuse"

This book lead me to realize what trafficking really is, people stick to the myth (but also true) that trafficking is bringing girls from 3rd world countries to the USA locked in a room where men go in and out. But it can be anyone who just lacks a vulnerability and gets prayed on by pimps. There should be more awareness about it, especially if I’m 21 and recently found out what trafficking is and thought prostitution was always an option just because we stick to what we see on tv and it’s always a tough woman chewing gum wearing short clothing looking for easy money, but this girls are full of emotions and almost the complete opposite of the myths we hear and see.

Great book. So inspiring.

This was an amazing page turner! I don’t read a lot of books but this one is fantastic!

This is an honest, heart breaking and must read for everyone so that the stories of these children are known. I was appalled, horrified, saddened and angry at the stories I read. What Rachel and the other women have achieved should be celebrated and shine as a beacon to others.

Incredibly well written, Rachel is fantastic author who articulates with depth and honesty about her journey from survivor to leader. And what a leader she is!

This book is disturbing, heart breaking, inspiring and challenging. A life changing read. The author is to be celebrated for her honesty and courage.