30 Covert Emotional Manipulation Tactics: How Manipulators Take Control in Personal Relationships

I identified with a lot of the manipulation tactics addressed in this book and I got a deep sense of validation from what I have endured and that it wasn’t my fault.

I immediately related to this book because my marriage was to a covert manipulator. I could agree with all of the listed tactics but a few. This book validates some of the abuse I experienced as a child, and the abuse I experienced in my marriage. I'm well educated, and fairly assertive and outspoken, yet I felt like I was to blame for anything going wrong in the marriage and with our parenting. I felt ignored, underappreciated, and taken advantage of while at the same time feeling the underlying message that I should feel lucky and appreciative of all that I have. It was an insidious process of seeing myself become chipped away, and broken down over the years. In the latter years, I felt like I was barely tolerated, and expressed this to him. I was told I was wrong, and it was all in my head, and I believed this. It was turned around onto me, and blamed on my abusive upbringing and my depression. My intuition kept telling me something wasn't right, but I couldnt put my finger on it. I just knew I was incredibly and inexplicably unhappy. I chose to leave after 23 years of feeling empty and unhappy for at least 15 years, and wondering why I always felt angry, depressed, and resentful while feeling I constantly agreed with him. I literally felt like I was losing a grip on reality. I lost my identity completely in the marriage. I left that marriage feeling mentally shattered, and not having any sense of self-worth or self-confidence. If you can relate at all to my brief marital history you can benefit from reading this book. It's an excellent, easy-to-read resource to assist on a path toward self-love and empowerment. Anyone one who suffered this abuse, or any abuse can benefit from this book. I highly recommend her other book " Boundaries After A Pathological Relationship", and her website psychopathsandlove.com

It's a crash course pamphlet on manipulation tactics and how abuse works, nothing more, nothing less. Definitely useful for someone who has a very limited amount of time, is in an emergency, or would just like something on hand and easy to flip through to remember these issues as they happen. I removed a star due to the fact that it makes the common mistake of over-attributing manipulation to personality disorders (not all character-disordered people necessarily have a diagnosable issue), and because it is hastily put together and results in some typos here and there. Other than that though, it's pretty solid for what it is. Like I said, it's equivalent to like a PSA pamphlet someone would hand you on the street, and when held to that standard, it's pretty good. Would recommend having on hand for ease of reference, but definitely don't stop here if you want to learn more about abuse, manipulation, and toxic psychology in depth.

There are a lot of books in my cart on this topic, breakups, relationship health, etc., and I should probably read them all. But when you’re in the throes of pain in the immediate aftermath of a breakup with someone like this, you need quick help just to get through the day. Maybe even the hour. This was an easy read but full of revelations and insights that somehow, when you recognize what your ex has been doing to you, and you give it a name, and you realize it’s so valid that there are books about it, well it makes you feel better. Gets you through that hour or that day. I highlighted the book in 3 colors. Yellow for information that generally applied to my ex. Blue for information that was spot on, word for word. And pink for information that was spot on, word for word, AND scary. Practically the entire book is highlighted. Out of the 30 tactics described, he had 27 of them. For the first time in 4 years since I met him, I don’t feel addicted to him or dependent on him. I see him as a very disturbed man who almost brought me down with him, and I just want him gone from my life.

I've gone down the rabbit hole and am in the process of reading dozens of books on Narcissism, manipulation, and toxic relationship dynamics. I'm giving this only 3 stars because of the cost for what it is, compared to other books in this space and price range. There is some good info in here, but overall it feels as if someone read only a few books on this subject, and quickly wrote a short book based on their key observations. I think this could be helpful for the causal observer, but if you've ever been in a highly manipulative, abusive, or dangerous relationship this is probably too much of a surface level casual observation read. There are some good summaries of manipulation tactics, but some of the info I do not agree with in here also (and is contracted in other expert books on this subject), for example "Listen to friends and family members who you know to have you best interests at heart." This can be highly dangerous for a victim because family members and friends often have limited information, and often give well meaning bad advice that suits the manipulator, for example "It cant be that bad" or "You can work things out," and further invalidates a victim.

very interesting book about manipulations.every person must read it.

I will recommend to start reading the chapter that deals with intermitent reinforcement. I think it helps for a better comprehension of the entire subject.

I read this book in one seating and thoroughly felt engaged by it. As I read and learned about the different tactics, I felt more and more empowered. I gauged whether or not I myself was using tactics unconsciously and I gauged if any tactics were present in any other of my relationships. I think this should be required reading by every young adult especially when starting new relationships or entering marriage. Once you learn the manipulative tactics, you will be able to defend yourself against it. You will have clearer boundaries to protect yourself and will maintain your self worth. Plus you will know if you yourself are being manipulative or controlling in order to get what you want. This book is to the point, a short read, and worth every minute of your time for the sake of the quality of your life.

I felt like this book was a mirror of a destructive 4 year relationship I’ve recently come out of. The author clearly knows the manipulation game and understands the emotional and physical health damage caused by the manipulator. Without doubt, this is the most informative and helpful book I’ve read on the topics of manipulation and narcissism. I thoroughly recommend this book to anyone who feels they’ve been in a relationship that is manipulative, controlling, confusing and soul crushing. I shed many tears throughout the book, as it was all too familiar, however after finishing the book I no longer feel alone with what I’ve personally experienced. Healing will take however long it takes, but I’m so thankful I chose this book and absolutely recommended it!

Lacking in substance and poorly written, you wil find better help elsewhere. As the book is so short, it would, fortunately, not be a big waste of time, but a waste nonetheless and a total waste of your money.