The Conscious Parent: Transforming Ourselves, Empowering Our Children

Dr. Shefali offers a new paradigm of parenting in The Conscious Parent. If you are ready to step aside from power struggles and the antiquated days of a hierarchical parent-child relationship, this book is for you. If you are ready to experience your children as special agents on your spiritual journey, this book is your gospel. Becoming a conscious parent is all about the becoming. It is the transformation from our unconscious habits and patterns, inherited by our families of origin and embedded from our cultural norms. Becoming is an act of awareness, an intention, and a conscious choice to mindful living and raising our children. The greatest concept of the book is that through transforming ourselves, we empower our children. As counter-intuitive as it may seem, the real focus of conscious parenting is on the parents, not the children. When parents are able to accept their emotions and live authentically, it is natural for the children to do the same. Conscious parenting is raising ourselves so we are better able to help raise our children. The intention of conscious parenting is to accept full responsibility for ourselves and eliminate the need to control the outcome of our children. It is a conscious choice to replace shame and blame with understanding. Through understanding, we free ourselves and our children to live authentically. Through a combination of personal experiences, client stories, and clinical research, Dr. Shefali shares the human component and natural tendencies of parenting. The book is easy to read and relate to. The Consciousness Compass is a series of questions to guide us along the path of consciousness. This excerpt is a summary of the book and the shift in consciousness. *It is we who teach our children how to be greedy by giving them diamonds instead of sticks and stones *It is we who teach our children how to fear adventure by rewarding their successes and reprimanding their failures *It is we who teach our children how to lie to us by getting angry with them when they tell us the truth *It is we who teach our children how to be mean and violent to others by disregarding their emotions and denying them unconditional acceptance *It is we who teach our children to lose their motivation and zeal by pressuring them to excel and "be something" *It is we who teach our children to dishonor us by pushing them to be who they are not *It is we who teach our children to be bullies by dominating their spirit and silencing their voice *It is we who teach our children to be confused and overwhelmed by giving them all things external, but few tools to look internally *It is we who teach our children to be inattentive and distracted by inundating their lives with busy activities, leaving no space for stillness *It is we who teach our children to live their life looking outward by spending our time and energy on our own looks and acquisitions *It is we who teach our children to disrespect us by not stopping them the first time they are disrespectful and every time after *It is we who teach our children to be defiant by not knowing how to lay down the rules and mean business when we do *It is we who teach our children to know shame by shaming their spirits and judging them constantly *It is we who teach our children to become anxious by denying the celebration of our own present as we constantly focus on tomorrow *It is we who teach our children not to like themselves by constantly categorizing their emotions as those we approve of and those we don't *It is we who teach our children not to trust the world by betraying them every time we don't see who they are in their essence *It is we who teach our children how to love or not love by the extent to which we love or don't love ourselves. We are on this journey together, as parents and in relation to our children. Mindful living and conscious parenting is a means to transform ourselves and empower our children. This book is a great parenting tool to raise our awareness above that which keeps us from loving unconditionally and living whole-heartedly.

It's awesome I'm going to buy a second for my adult child. He's having a baby. A little girl with my lovely daughter in law in May 2026. I just sent her a what to expect when your expecting revised 2025 8 think. I bought it because I saw machine gun kelly in an interview in a garage with dude. He said it's what's made him a conscious parent. So I said if it fixes idiot 😂 just kidding. He's cool. Will all gotta grow up sometime. We all make mistakes in our youth. I super crazy. My kids soan from the ages 30 down to 6. I have 5. So I was impressed 😁. Must read

I snagged this gem at my local library and found it extremely difficult not to go and highlight all the things. That to me is a sure-fire way of knowing you’ve got a good book... at least the self helping kinds of books any way. Also renewing the book twice so you can really digest it. That’s a good sign for you to go ahead and take the plunge and buy the damn book. I’m so glad I finally have a copy of my own to highlight and sticky note. I’m a new parent and really don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t say this book has all the answers. This book does, however, help you dig deep and tap into the root cause of why and how you are you. In knowing all of this you can become a better parent. Letting go of past conditioning is a big chunk of the emphasis here in this book but is certainly not limited to it. Truly being conscious of your ego and making adjustments accordingly is not just an integral part of parenthood but systemic to life, being human, and seeing more clearly who you are.

Overall, a worthwhile read. There are several great concepts that shift and lift parental perspective. Would recommend more to new parents or parents of toddlers/pre-schoolers than parents of teens. Critical observations: 1.) the book is wordy with moments of off-putting smugness, and 2.) offers parents of struggling teens an oversimplified (borderline offensively simplified) message*. •The author cites her experiences of helping parents of struggling teens, but her examples are the extremes of dysfunction and do not apply to all families who are struggling their child's teen years. The author's broad brushstrokes regarding the teen years with primary focus of blame on parents for teen deviance and teen struggles can feel minimizing and patronizing. [full disclosure, here's where I get wordy:] Times have changed. When my husband and I were teenagers and something embarrassing happened to us, our parents would wisely reassure us that the entire humiliation would be forgotten in a week. That is no longer the reality for our teens. Handheld devices now record, replay, alter, and share, and share, and share exponentially with no guarantee that the content (of our teen's humiliation/bad decision) will ever be completely erased. On top of that, peers are emboldened to mob mentality while they sit comfortably veiled in their anonymity. Substances are at unprecedented levels of potency (some lethal upon first exposure, others laced with extremely addictive secondary substances). . . The ripple effect of over-prescribing for sports' injuries and necessary medical procedures; school shooters; an overwhelmed public school system. Even if "our kid" is not quote unquote struggling, they likely have classmates / peers / individuals in their social circle who are. The list goes on. The author does not fully explore the extent of such external factors. From our experience, it is misleading to say a child raised in a loving, supporting, conscious home will be immune to these outside influences. We see it in family therapy and family support groups: not all families have obvious traumas and dysfunction; there are also families who care and love deeply, who are and have been active participants in their children's lives, who have other children who are thriving and healthy, but have a child who is troubled despite their quote unquote healthy home life and consistent/conscious parenting. ...This is awful of me, but I found myself hoping the author might one day expand her family to more than one child, ultimately experience first hand a child among her brood profoundly struggling during their his/her years, and THEN write another book. All this said, I did find the book's nuggets important enough that I have recommended the book to others and bought two more as gifts.

Great read for those who have been through trauma and are parenting. This helped me a lot and broke down a lot of aspects to how our minds work.

This is the first parenting book I’ve read, which truly describes the journey of parenthood. I’ve read many books - but they often focus on the behaviour of children and how to manage that, OR how to BE a ‘good’ parent. But for me this books goes way beyond that, and gets to a much deeper level. It illuminates what I’ve experienced , and allows me to feel less alone. It also expands my understanding and search for meaning into the spiritual journey that happens when your life changes and you become a parent/guardian of a young person. I have now begun reading The Awakened Family and already I’m excited and uplifted by what I’m reading. These books offer the stripped back essence of parenting, the fundamental values of what it means to be in service to our children, and also the immensity of that responsibility. If you know in your heart that your children are your equal, that they are here to teach you something profound, and that your hearts desire is to do the best thing for them Spiritually, then this is your book.

Absolutely great book ! Best parenting book I have ever read - although I will admit I'm not a 'parenting book' reader, this one is incredible. I highly encourage this book to all parents - it's brilliant. Your child will likely thank you in the future as a close & healthy honest relationship between parent and child is a strength that carries on throughout life. It would be so great if much of this books' content was taught to high school kids as this book contains healthy ways of thinking that apply to all ages, from childhood to adult. Highly recommend.

Shefali te abre los ojos siempre que estés dispuesto a tener autocritica y cambiar tu mismo para tener una mejor relación con tus hijos

Surprisingly good.

This great book changed my entire perspective on parenting . Few chapters in I was to already transformed. I would recommend it to anyone who’s experiencing trouble parenting it’s a good book.