Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting (The Peaceful Parent Series)

Every parent should read this book. It's awesome and helpful. This book helps me calm down, refocus, and reconnect. I learn to reconsider my words, tone of voice, facial expressions, and actions. Some of the lessons that are reinforced in this book includes the following: Remember to change wordings to be more on the positive side. Slow down and remember that it's ok to give yourself some time-outs to calm down too. Make sure that your child feels very connected, loved, and comfortable with you. Provide freedom within limitations (e.g. you provide options and your child can choose any of those options). Have fun with your child -- make challenges and tough situations light hearted, help him/her succeed in small steps at a time, and hug/giggle/tickle and play together often. The book provides many applicable suggestions!

When I read this book 2 years ago, I was dumbfounded, I felt a huge feeling that this is the way I wish I was parented and how i want to parent my kids this way. Who wouldn't want to be understood during difficult times, be it a child or an adult. I grew up in a dysfunctional family with a generous portion of emotional and physical abuse. I was the youngest and I got it from everyone. I have always been a conscientious person, always looking in the mirror and changing myself. But I didn't know just how much anger I had suppressed inside until I had kids. My husband and I adopted 2 siblings under the age of four. That first 6 months were brutally hard, i saw my anger for the first time. Adopted kids are broken souls the work was way harder than I had imagined. This book saved me as parent, saved me as a human. It spelled out how to deal with triggers, it verified that the child is not bad, it's our undealt pain that are the issues. This book helped me begin my journey to healing myself from a traumatic past. Thank you Dr. Laura Markham for the healing, many days were overwhelming but I have come a long way, my kids have come a long way. To put things in perspective, I still yell and am not always in control, and I often miss the cue. I'm writing this review for others like me who are trying *so hard* to not be angry but somewhere their mind/body doesn't cooperate. I read the book "The body keeps the score by Bessel van der Kolk" which talks about PTSD and the traumatic wounds from childhood that can be healed using other methods such as EMDR, yoga, meditation, hypnotherapy etc. I also read her book 'Peaceful Parent happy siblings' and this is a phenomenal book too. My two kids have a healthy relationship with each other, they play with each other so much. Their hysterical giggles over the silliest thing fills our home and heart with so much joy. Just imagine what a world of humans who have been parented gently will look like. We have tried war for centuries, let's try peace and see where that takes us!

Dr. Markham's books is a great read. She writes in easy-to-understand language. I've read many books that talk about "mindfulness" but fail to really describe it concretely. Here's how Markham defines it: Being aware of your thoughts/emotions, but not acting on them (i.e. not getting angry). She provides a definition from an 11-year old: "Mindfulness is being able to get mad at somebody but not hitting them." Wonderful. Essentially, the book boils down to 3 concepts: controlling yourself (mindfulness), connecting with your kid(s), and coaching for the future. Each of these topics is covered in detail. The biggest "aha" for me is that when kids are pushing our buttons, it's not really about them; it's about us. Specifically, an open issue from our own childhood that needs to be addressed. Spot on! I'm implementing the ideas in the book, with good success. In fact, a couple days after I started applying Markham's ideas, my 5-year old son told me at bedtime, "your the best daddy in the world!" When I asked why, he said "because you didn't yell at me today." Ouch. There's still some yelling, but it's greatly reduced, and I'm confident that I'll be "yell-free" in the 3 months Markham says it will take. I'll leave you with this thought from the book: In all our interactions with our kids, we have a choice: we can either choose love or fear. Choose love. Punishment/threats and other fear-based "discipline" approaches don't work. If our kids aren't doing what we're asking, it's a relationship issue that we have with them.

I really like the three big ideas she references throughout the book. She emphasizes the importance of having a strong connection with your child and making sure your child's basic needs are met before you try to teach them. She integrates many different parenting approaches (Love and Logic, The Whole-Brained Child, etc) into one approach, which is nice. I did feel like the book could have been 3x shorter and I would have gotten the same out of it. She has long lists and wordy explanations at times. She also repeats many ideas to the point that by the last chapter, I just started skimming to see if anything new was going to show up. The book needs to be more concise and more carefully structured. This will prevent parents from feeling overwhelmed since her lists contain many do's and dont's of parenting. It can be overwhelming, so while reading the book, I'd suggest staying focused on her three big ideas. It's worth the read.

This book is eveything I ever hoped for. I grew up in a household where I was constantly yelled at for discipline. As a child, I early on started yelling back at my parents and always hated it, wanting to stop and not knowing how. Then as a parent I saw myself yelling at my daughter, not knowing what to do. I texted a friend asking for a good recommendation on a parenting book and she immediately recommended this one. From there my life has completely changed. Within months I was able to go from yelling multiple times a day to yelling maybe once a month (and forgiving myself for the slip-ups!). I love parenting. I'm constantly connecting with my daughter and really seeing the joys of raising a child. I went from dreading parenting to enjoying being a stay-at-home mom. My daughter (at 2) can now begin to solve her own problems with gentle guidance. She pinpoints her emotions and is empathetic when I feel sad or frustrated as well. What I adore is that the book is based on studies, not just the author's opinion. As I studied Human Development in college, this really appeals to my science-minded mentality. I am so thankful I was recommended this book when my daughter was still very young. My whole family is more peaceful and happier. I cannot even express in words the difference this book made in loving and caring for my child and in loving myself. I only hope it can help your family as much as it helped mine.

I buy all sorts of products on Amazon.com, probably two or more each week. However, this is the first review I've ever taken the time to write. But I'm taking the time today because I realize that maybe my review will convince a frustrated parent to buy this book. We have three kids, aged 9, 5 and 2. We realized how much our hearts sank when we yelled at our kids, how sad it seemed to send them away to "time out" when they misbehaved. There was a feeling deep in our guts that we knew we were doing the wrong thing, even though our parents and -- pretty much everyone we know -- said that this was the "right" way. "You need to be the boss", etc. Coupled with the fact we were getting stuck in a punishment rut with our 9-year-old son, we knew there had to be some help out there, a better way to work with our kids to show them we love them while also guiding them to make the right choices. I realized that I spent more time online researching which washing machines or flip flops were the best than I did educating myself about parenting. How ridiculous! I think it's a common mistake, however, since there's this unspoken myth that we should just proceed as our parents did. Even if we had great parents, and I did, it doesn't mean they really knew how to raise kids without yelling, or even a spank on the bottom now and then. And I just didn't want to do that. This book lays it all out in a very clear way, using evidence-based research and action guides. Once I started reading the book it all seemed so clear and obvious: treat your kids as you would like to be treated, use empathy and kindness, while setting limits. It's not an overnight transformation, however -- a lot of work changing your behavior is required. My husband and I constantly remind each other not to yell, and to approach each situation with love rather than a firm voice and consequences. We receive Dr. Markham's daily emails, which are incredibly helpful, and flip through the book often to remind ourselves how to handle different situations. In the heat of the moment, it's easy to forget what seemed so clear and inspiring the day before. This is a fantastic resource that is changing the dynamics of our family every day -- for the better!

The work of Dr Laura accounts for more than 50% of the healthy changes to our parenting! My husband and I are. Parents to three children under five. When we had our first, we committed to attachment parenting... Which in hindsight mostly practiced as baby bonding. As our son/first child turned two and a half we began having f power struggles and we were just lost as to what to do. In the absence of reflection, history repeats itself and we found ourselves parenting the way that we were patented despite our instincts against doing so. I come from a long lineeage of "yellers".. It become quite the norm for me to yell at our elder children. Many times I was just unaware that it was even occurring. Until one day my children were yelling at each other and I ask them to stop! My then four year old son said to me " why should we stop, you yell at us". I was floored to say the least. I enrolled in Dr Thomas Gordon P.E.T. Course initially wanting to just communicate better with my children, but amidst taking the course I discovered that there was a lot of personal work that needed addressing & that's where we found Dr.Laura Markhams works. I can't speak more highly about how her book (& subsequently her 12 week online course for parents) has changed our lives. With practical tools to help myself so that I can use my P.E.T. skills and Dr. Siegels Mindsight to help my children. I've purchased so many copies of this book to give away. Even the audio version I listen to through the day at times just to keep the essence alive. I only wish the audiobook was in Dr Laura's voice. It's so calm and reassuring. Don't miss the chance to alter your love in a powerful way! Love grows here!

I bought this book for multiple parents, mostly the one's that were complaining or struggling. At about 18 months my daughter started to challenge me in a way that made me question my parenting skills, by 2... I was as my breaking point. As a single parent and devoted mother...Laura helped me find the inner strength to do the right thing and remind myself constantly what my daughter needed. I get her blog emailed to me and I love it. This book should be required reading for every parent. I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, if you follow the practices in the book, you will be see a difference in your child's behavior. Your child can be difficult to manage at times, but is only a mirror of your effort. All kids have bad days, but as the book says, meet their needs and when you do you will be rewarded with a loving child that sometimes cries or acts out, but it only a sign that you need to do a little more. I now view my daughters crying or acting out as a red flag that I need to do more to connect with her. When I do, I get to feel that special bond that makes me glad she felt comfortable enough to let me help her through it. I can't say enough about this book and advice given. I am not prefect and still have my moments, but they are less often and less severe and I apologize and talk to my daughter about it afterward. Still working on myself as that is the key. Just take the time to read this book and try it Dr. Markham's way. You won't be sorry. Someone in my life saw how I was parenting and thought I was coddling my daughter and worried about the behavior and 2 1/2 years later has admitted that they were wrong and commented how happy I must be how well behaved and delightful she is now. I resisted the need to say "I told you so". It might not work as quickly or have a dramatic effect as quickly as on every child, but it will work to make your child feel more loved and you can't go wrong with that.

The book: good, as expected. Even just after reading the first chapter, I found myself reminded to prioritize the kids, not other seemingly important but not critical things going on. Delivery and conditions: arrived on time, in good condition as seller said. Thanks!

Hands down the best parenting book I have read. Easy to read, lovely to understand and works.

I really wish I would have read this book when my kids were younger. I have two boys 8 and 5 and this book has completely changed my relationship with them. These techniques not only help you build a strong bond and truly connect with your child, but really help you reconsider your own self and issues. I dont understand why we go to school and learn so much but nobody ever teaches people how to be good parents. This book should be obligatory for anyone that has kids. The world would truly be a better and more loving place.

This is the book I needed to read. It's not just another book that says things like: '...Now I am going to tell you about the right ways you should parent you children, etc... . (making me feel even more of a complete failure as parent ...) Dr. Markham advocates compassion and non-judgementalness as a parenting style and she addresses the readers (parents) in the same non-judgmental, compassionate way. I am somebody, who feels chronically guilty about the smallest event. The guilt made me a very stressed-out parent and the stress created distance between me and my child - lately it was just 'getting through the days' - leaving little space for joy. So I looked for some help, support, inspiration and found this book. The connection between parents and children, that this book speaks about is the solution for me (AHA!)! After only one day of connecting again with my child, she became a child that wants to cooperate. The reward for re-connecting to my child, and to life in general is the joy in the house and much reduced stress! The other thing the book has really helped me with, is the idea of 'radical self care'! (love the word!). Thank you, Dr. Laura Markham!

Es de lo mejor que he leído en mi vida! Me gustaría que estuviera en español para regalarla a muchas amigas! Me ha cambiado la vida!!! Soy más paz, tengas más recursos para criar a mis hijos!!!! Gracias mil gracias